Quote by varca
do you? :twisted:
absofeckinlutely :grin:
:twisted: :rascal:
How am I meant to get back to sleep now pmsl??
thats easy get round to darks place im sure she can wear you out
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lovejoy68
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 56
United Kingdom
Forum
Quote by Darkfire
and your love of being taped up, and remy martin, and the fact that you buy my drinks & still havent shouted at me for saying you're an arse (because you are one) :lol2:
one cannot deny the truth
i do still like a little tipple, paddles & gaffa tape go together so well
& yes i am an arse but that gives you a bigger target to aim at 
Quote by varca
one fresh coffee coming up with a wee dram of the good stuff
i know what ya mean about temptation ive missed this place sooo much just hope i can get back in again once i turn this computer off lol
Thankyou
Served with such flair :DIf Dark says you are going no-where, you are going no-where :giggle:
no probs think someone else will have to tend the bar from now on though as i cant move my arms with all this gaffa tape on them lol
think i could get out if i wanted to but its more fun being taped up :D
Quote by Darkfire
then dont switch it off!! , i've gaffa taped you to the chair and you're going bloody no-where, ever.
bad man!
coffee-pot
smacked bottoms & gaffa tape ive only been back ten min lol
im going nowhere dark think ive sorted out the broadband etc only trouble is the broadband router box thing is on my coffee table & i need to unplug it to move it im worried i wont be able to get it back on again it took me ages to sort it out lol
Quote by steveg_nw
Steve,
Does this now mean you are off to bush trees and hedges etc??? or it this device purely for show inthe shed or garage??
If it is for use, can we have before and after photos please to check the standard of work!!
I only have one tree to cut down and then I'll stick it back on ebay for someone else to buy.
I checked the cost to hire one for a day and it was nearly £50 + VAT. Buying one on ebay and then reselling it might only cost me a bit of postage.
We're not known as tight Northerners for nothing ya know!! :grin:
Steve
i think you are going to the wrong hire shops steveg if you go to that large cheap shop with a 14 day money back guarantee do the work then take it back & say its too big/small its free
Quote by varca
Don't think we have met Lovejoy but any friend of Dark's is a friend of mine, so welcome back to the madhouse
pleased to meet you varca
now where is that coffee pot it must be under all these empties somewhere!
ahhh here it is could i tempt you with a little livener in it i have a rather nice brandy here :D
good evening dark
thank you for the warm wellcome back & the chair next to you :) does that mean im buying the drinks then??
no probs whats everyone having?? mines a wee brandy :)
feels good being able to post in here again im sure you will all get bored of me soon enough though lol
big XXXs to everyone
xxxxxxxx
thank you for the warm wellcome back & the chair next to you :) does that mean im buying the drinks then??
no probs whats everyone having?? mines a wee brandy :)
feels good being able to post in here again im sure you will all get bored of me soon enough though lol
big XXXs to everyone
xxxxxxxx
Quote by Serendipity
Whether I like the tattoo depends on the subject matter, the location and whether it suits the person who has it.
As for is it a turn on? No, people are a turn on - tattoos can be a nice adornment or a statement but not the sole cause of attraction
very well said tats are a personal thing what looks sexy on one person looks tacky & nasty on another but as said its the person who is sexy or not
personally i love tats on both men & women i can spend ages admiring the skill of the artist & wondering what made that person decide on having a paticular design,
i have a few some mean more to me than others some i wonder why did i have that done but i wouldnt change any of them for the world as they are a part of me :) still working on my next one at the moment i have a blank back & its screaming out for a large one :D
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I wondered where you've been the past few weeksMaybe I should have detoured to said stones to see if they could have cured my hangover
Great to meet you hun
hiya sassy was great to meet you to
just sorry i didnt say goodbye in the morning 
sleep dont easily these daysif you are ever down south again i would highly recommend the stones the energy from them cant be put into words
hope to see you again maybe at darks do :D my first munch :D :D
wow ive made it back very very late so firstly im sorry for bringing this back after all this time i wrote a pm moved laptop (unfortunatly i dont have wireless) & tipped a nearly full pint of brandy & coke over it 
i would just like to say a very very big thank you to pete & caron it was so good to meet some of the true stars of sh it was a great night just sorry i didnt partake in much of the vast quantities of great food unfortunatly i started drinking first
also a massive hiya & thank you to everyone else you are a fantastic crowd & it was a real pleasure to meet you all :cheers:
& lastly a very big apology for the disapearing act first thing in the morning i just woke up at 6-ish i dont sleep much these days & didnt want to wake anyone so went for a little drive to visit some very powerfull stones
thank you all again you are all stars
:D :cheers:
i wrote a pm moved laptop (unfortunatly i dont have wireless) & tipped a nearly full pint of brandy & coke over it i would just like to say a very very big thank you to pete & caron it was so good to meet some of the true stars of sh
it was a great night just sorry i didnt partake in much of the vast quantities of great food unfortunatly i started drinking first also a massive hiya & thank you to everyone else you are a fantastic crowd & it was a real pleasure to meet you all :cheers:
& lastly a very big apology for the disapearing act first thing in the morning i just woke up at 6-ish i dont sleep much these days & didnt want to wake anyone so went for a little drive to visit some very powerfull stones
thank you all again you are all stars
:D :cheers: Quote by elektoi
Is it just my PC playing up or has the panel showing the last 20 people who've viewed your profile been deleted? I can't see any reference to it in the posts
is this panel showing the last 20 visitors part of the extras package or does everyone have the ability to see who's viewed them?
dont think you can view them all i knew was over 20 people had viewed my profile but when i clicked on it to see who i was taken to an extras sign up page
so its not really a loss for me
Quote by sheddy
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: right I've packed me bag loaded the car (won't have time tommorow got a busy day) and i'm all ready to go
er wiltshire is just north of manchester isn't it
i hope you have left the window open a bit sheddy or kate will be getting over heated in the car today
as for directions if you see a sign that says welcome to scotland turn round & go in the opposite direction
something ive forgot to ask what sort of time is everything kicking off??
cant wait to see you all :D
i love dahlias there are sooo many variations they just fill a garden up & bring fantastic splashes of colour & form & if grown from seed you never know what you are going to get as they are natural hybreds :D
also love the hunble daffodil the first sure sign that spring is on its way :D :D
& if grown from seed you never know what you are going to get as they are natural hybreds :D also love the hunble daffodil the first sure sign that spring is on its way :D :D
Quote by Bloke2005
OOOooo - I didn't know this was happening
they must use those longer lasting batterys
found loads asking for people to send them replies with hidden email's in them didnt know if that was against apu or not??
well this is the best i can do
answers in red
answers in red
Quote by PoloLady
Odd one out:
Which is the odd one out?
giggnod
feac
docnom
tempelutes
feac
Pair words:
Pair the words from list A with the words from list B.
List A
Bed covers
Flavoured condom
Gang bang
Massage oil
Genital warts
French knickers
Shaved cock
Bondage tape
Photo ads
Fury balls
Hard cup
List B
Balls
Tape
Cup
Cock
Covers
Ads
Warts
Knickers
Bang
Oil
Condom
How long:
Tom can shag for 3 minutes the first time he gets his end away. He lasts twice as long the second time and 50% longer than the second time on the third occasion of dipping his wick. Three times is all Tom can manage. Brenda invites Tom around for a romp - what is the total amount of time Brenda will be shagged?
18 mins
Does not belong:
Which word does not have a similar meaning to the others?
Stimulation
Penetration
Arousal
Excitation
penetration
Groups:
Arrange these words into groups of three.
Nipple, rubber, condom, lube, lace, nape, jacuzzi, bed, pvc, thigh, dildo, mirrors.
What are they?:
What do these things have in common?
MuffBrush
Mighty Throbber
Venus
Slim-Jim
alcohol?
Johnny‘s Jonnys:
John bulk buys some condoms. One bag contains 3 boxes of 12 Mates Easy-On Natural. The other bag contains one third vanilla flavour, one third banana flavour, one sixth ribbed-ticklers, one twelfth featherlite and 3 extra safe.
Helen does not like banana flavoured condoms or ribbed-ticklers.
How many condoms does John have which Helen will like?
46
Does not belong:
Which word does not have a similar meaning to the others?
Exhilaration
Elevation
Elimination
Elation
elimination
Watch the Clock:
Janet has a formula for perfect sex. She believes the length of time engaged in actual penetration related to the time spent on foreplay. Oral should take twice as long as fingering and fingering should be one quarter the total time of all action. If penetration lasts for 8 minutes and 20 seconds, How long should Janet have had her pussy licked for?
50% of the total time
Odd one out:
Which is the odd one out?
Refign
Gotune
Pekirp
Nabaan
Oldid
pekirp
Time Management:
Kevin is meeting Roger and Pauline in one hour at a hotel 20 minutes down the road. He normally takes 12 minutes to shower, but today he takes 50% longer so he can shave his balls. 10% of his hour is spent getting the iron and ironing board out - it then takes twice that time to iron his shirt. He then spend 14 minutes styling his hair. He then spends 2 minutes trimming his nasal hair and then twice as long trimming his toenails. A final 5 minutes to clean his shoes and Kevin hit’s the road. How late will Kevin be for his hotel 3some?
21mins
Which Dogger did Donald?
Arthur, Bill and Charlie are being questioned by their friends in the pub. The three men went out dogging and their mates have found out that one of the guys fucked Donald the Dogger up the arse. Donald was not sure which of the guys actually fucked him, other than the man had a fat bent penis.
Arthur:
I do not have a fat bent penis.
I did not fuck Donald up the arse.
Bill:
I do have a fat bent penis.
I did not fuck Donald up the arse.
Charlie:
I do not have a fat bent penis.
A man with a fat bent penis fucked Donald.
In the toilets the guys in the pub discover only two of the statements are true - only one of the three suspects did not have a fat bent penis.
Who fucked Donald?
arthur
this topic brings back some nasty memorys
its not only hot oil to be carefull of while cooking naked! a couple of years back when one day i couldnt be bothered to cook i was heating up some tinned new potato's & stewed steak in the microwave an easy quick meal
after removing bowl from microwave i placed a spoon in it to give it a stir & some of the larger potato's exploded & i mean exploded covering me & my whole kitchen in tiny scolding hot pieces of spud :shock: i was covered in little blisters for ages afterwards
so remember this warning never put a cold spoon into something thats just been microwaved it hurts
its not only hot oil to be carefull of while cooking naked! a couple of years back when one day i couldnt be bothered to cook i was heating up some tinned new potato's & stewed steak in the microwave an easy quick meal
after removing bowl from microwave i placed a spoon in it to give it a stir & some of the larger potato's exploded & i mean exploded covering me & my whole kitchen in tiny scolding hot pieces of spud :shock: i was covered in little blisters for ages afterwards
so remember this warning never put a cold spoon into something thats just been microwaved it hurts
Quote by celtic_passion
If you drop a cat, according to legend it should land on its feet. If you drop toast it should land butter side down. What happens if you strap a slice of toast to a cat's back butter side up? Which way will it fall? Will it cause a huge tear in the space time continuem and all of the universe collapse. Or will someone just get alot of hairy toast?
Does anyone else have any why or what if questions? Do you have an answer to this?I
thats an easy answer the cat being the noblest of all creatures will probably just turn round & scratch your face
