Yes I'm back... the invite to the swinging party was a paid affair!! so i thought I'd give it a miss.. being the tightwad i am.. might do it in the future though
Debz, you're so wrong saying i'm mad.. it's not fair!!! If you don't take it back, I'm going to find the worlds biggest lilypad and hide there forever!!
the bit in the last thread about me nearly losing my fingers.. is totally true!! and only a complete fuckwit such as myself could possibly do such a thing.. but out of adversity , comes , well most of the time more adversity.. but at least i've learnt how to wank with my left hand!!
hours of fun
Good to be back, and I'm going to ask for invites for nights out and stuff.. and yes I'm still a swinging virgin!! poor me
lots more emoticons in future threads!!
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ohfk_58563
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Male, 55
0 miles · Greater Manchester
Forum
Hey all,
It's been a long time,
I shouldn't have left you
without a strong beat to step to
think of how many weak shows you slept though
times up
I sorry i kept you....
Oh my god , It's that halfwit nut ohfk again... nearly lost my fingers ,giving a health and safety demo..on yes you guessed it.. how not to lose your fingers!!!
How are you all???
I'm back and this time , there's gonna be fireworks!!!! no really there is!..no really
It's been a long time,
I shouldn't have left you
without a strong beat to step to
think of how many weak shows you slept though
times up
I sorry i kept you....
Oh my god , It's that halfwit nut ohfk again... nearly lost my fingers ,giving a health and safety demo..on yes you guessed it.. how not to lose your fingers!!!
How are you all???
I'm back and this time , there's gonna be fireworks!!!! no really there is!..no really
Sounds like you're having a rough time of it, so stay positive and all will be fine.
I had a potential near death experience a couple of months ago
I'd gone to get get some wine with my niece, and when i got back , I got out of the the car to open the gates and was just getting back in , when a guy behind me told me to get the f** out of the car, .. of course me being the 1 watt dimwit i am , thought it was a mate messing about , so i politely told him to fuck off. at which point my niece screamed and I had a gun in my back.. I got out of the the car and another guy put a gun to my head.. not the nicest of viewpoints , a third was pointing one through the window at my niece.. luckily i stayed calm , and told to them take the car , which they did, probably only lasted 30 secs in total, but shit the life outta me. Can't say my life flashed before me but, It certainly made me look at things a bit differently
Chin up debs, actually no , that would probably be quite painful..
Take it easy
Paul (a newbie but a nicy
)
I had a potential near death experience a couple of months ago
I'd gone to get get some wine with my niece, and when i got back , I got out of the the car to open the gates and was just getting back in , when a guy behind me told me to get the f** out of the car, .. of course me being the 1 watt dimwit i am , thought it was a mate messing about , so i politely told him to fuck off. at which point my niece screamed and I had a gun in my back.. I got out of the the car and another guy put a gun to my head.. not the nicest of viewpoints , a third was pointing one through the window at my niece.. luckily i stayed calm , and told to them take the car , which they did, probably only lasted 30 secs in total, but shit the life outta me. Can't say my life flashed before me but, It certainly made me look at things a bit differently
Chin up debs, actually no , that would probably be quite painful..
Take it easy
Paul (a newbie but a nicy
) Yipee, I got my first party invite!! :swingingchair: :thumbup: hopefully all will go well, although as happy 
as i am 
I'm gonna use this opportunity 
to bump my post up one last time,( has been a week!) B4 posting a new and hopefully original post..as a fully fledged :swingingchair:
Woohoo! yes I'm quite happy!! :taz:
Thanks to all those who've made me welcome so far, as I've said I'll try and contribute as in a positive and helpful way!!
Boring oscar bit!!( skip this bit for my indulgence only) :violin:
I'd like to thank my mum my family, my agent and those wonderful people who made this possible :upset: sorry I cant no,, thank you!!
Thanks for listening, you're truly wonderful people,I'll get the hang of it eventually
as i am I'm gonna use this opportunity to bump my post up one last time,( has been a week!) B4 posting a new and hopefully original post..as a fully fledged :swingingchair: Woohoo! yes I'm quite happy!! :taz:
Thanks to all those who've made me welcome so far, as I've said I'll try and contribute as in a positive and helpful way!!
Boring oscar bit!!( skip this bit for my indulgence only) :violin:
I'd like to thank my mum my family, my agent and those wonderful people who made this possible :upset: sorry I cant no,, thank you!!
Thanks for listening, you're truly wonderful people,I'll get the hang of it eventually
: getting a rep for using to many :!: emoticons. Quote by EagerSlut
Right, I don't know how to do the quote , within a quote , within a quote thing just yet!!
But I'll figure it out!!
See the thing is sarge , that's just typical of you lot on here, I try to make a serious point and all you can do is mock me and take the piss!! I'm taking my ball home (unless of course i can be captain)
And monsieur Eager Slut , i tried to do a babel fish translation on "disfrutate pajero" and got got diddly squat!! so please explain and let me get back to my wank!! :confused:
Thanks for listening(you may notice a pattern emerging!) you're all lovely people(again!)
Bad toad!!(oops)
'Disfrutate pajero' means "Enjoy yourself wanker"
No hard feelings
was a joke! 
:wink: :whistling: :whistling: Welcome BTW
That one I like.. I 'm a little bit werrr and a little bit waaahh( wide boy from harry enfield! )but I'm nicking it anyway!!
:wink: Quote by meat2pleaseu
"Im looking to give a woman a good seeing tonight horny as fuck so come if your from south wales i want to meet now!!!! get in touch. Also willing to meet up with couples"
this is quote taken from a newbie first post which is quite typical naturally piss taking followed can you think why?
This is the post in question
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/46089.html
none of the piss taking is nasty,just abit of fun,so what is wrong with that?
if i can draw you attention to the final and subtle piss taking post on the thread, from Rollo Tomasi. he joined a few weeks ago, said hello and told us a bit about himself, asked for some advice and slowly eased himself into things and has picked up the feel of the site just fine. if people had his attitude and sense they would have few problems here.
Nice one Rollo :thumbup: you've obviously took the time to get to know us and introduce yourself and i can see you becoming a regular.
(now i've built you up get prepared for some serious piss taking
)Can't see the problem myself!
Right, I don't know how to do the quote , within a quote , within a quote thing just yet!!
But I'll figure it out!!
See the thing is sarge , that's just typical of you lot on here, I try to make a serious point and all you can do is mock me and take the piss!! I'm taking my ball home (unless of course i can be captain)
And monsieur Eager Slut , i tried to do a babel fish translation on "disfrutate pajero" and got got diddly squat!! so please explain and let me get back to my wank!! :confused:
Thanks for listening(you may notice a pattern emerging!) you're all lovely people(again!)
Bad toad!!(oops)
But I'll figure it out!!
See the thing is sarge , that's just typical of you lot on here, I try to make a serious point and all you can do is mock me and take the piss!! I'm taking my ball home (unless of course i can be captain)
And monsieur Eager Slut , i tried to do a babel fish translation on "disfrutate pajero" and got got diddly squat!! so please explain and let me get back to my wank!! :confused:
Thanks for listening(you may notice a pattern emerging!) you're all lovely people(again!)
Bad toad!!(oops)
I'm sure that any pisstaking is meant in the nicest way possible.. I'm a newbie and as such. especially after reading through a few posts before i posted myself. was kind of expecting to have the piss taken for awhile, it's kinda natural to do so. One thing is for sure.. In my experince anyway. sex and all that surrounds it, is not a serious thing, the more you take things in your stride and have "fun" the more enjoyable anything is.. It's probably worth noting, that sargeant bilko(and others) certified me completely insane. and yet once he got where i was coming from, pulled me back from the abyss!! although I'm convinced the man has serious reservations.. who would blame him!!
If there is a point to this post, then i guess it's to say " lighten up" it's only a bit of fun and fuck it(or not as in the original posters point)
Any way I've yet to meet anyone from here,maybe i won't at all, but i quite enjoy the banter and welcome the pisstaking,and reckon in time all will be good.. given that i have internet access and a p.c by my bed!! I'l make do with a wank until that moment arrives!! which is what I'm going to do now!!
Buenos nochas hombres!!
If there is a point to this post, then i guess it's to say " lighten up" it's only a bit of fun and fuck it(or not as in the original posters point)
Any way I've yet to meet anyone from here,maybe i won't at all, but i quite enjoy the banter and welcome the pisstaking,and reckon in time all will be good.. given that i have internet access and a p.c by my bed!! I'l make do with a wank until that moment arrives!! which is what I'm going to do now!!
Buenos nochas hombres!!
I was chatting to the friend that happened to, the other night, purely by chance , and she definitly did all the right things before meeting him..
I reckon wsihmaster got it , wedding ring etc.. or maybe he was just a complete shit..
A lot of men will lie through the back teeth, to get what they want,(not neccessarily sex, just anything) and then pretend like it never happened , I know , I have a few ex friends , who broke my trust.. and i could never forgive them for it..but the penis rules brain is a common trait in most men too..
Hopefully she'll put it down to experience.. and not let it put her off.. We are not all like that, and i guess some women have similar triats too.. I don't know her well at all, but my advice to her , as she seems a smart cookie, was If the alarm bells ring in your head for any reason , then there is probably a good reason for them going off..
Be aware and listen to your head , as most men can be easily found out!! we're none of us that bright , when it comes to carnal pleasures!!
I reckon wsihmaster got it , wedding ring etc.. or maybe he was just a complete shit..
A lot of men will lie through the back teeth, to get what they want,(not neccessarily sex, just anything) and then pretend like it never happened , I know , I have a few ex friends , who broke my trust.. and i could never forgive them for it..but the penis rules brain is a common trait in most men too..
Hopefully she'll put it down to experience.. and not let it put her off.. We are not all like that, and i guess some women have similar triats too.. I don't know her well at all, but my advice to her , as she seems a smart cookie, was If the alarm bells ring in your head for any reason , then there is probably a good reason for them going off..
Be aware and listen to your head , as most men can be easily found out!! we're none of us that bright , when it comes to carnal pleasures!!
Strange world we live in, a little knowledge goes such a long way, like back to the top of the thread!! oops
But thanks, I'll remember that.... bad bad toad!!
Aren't you all supposed to be taking the piss..go on .. I'm a big boy now .. I can handle it
Leaves the door open for rampant mockery.. I did say i wasn't very bright!
But thanks, I'll remember that.... bad bad toad!!
Aren't you all supposed to be taking the piss..go on .. I'm a big boy now .. I can handle it
Leaves the door open for rampant mockery.. I did say i wasn't very bright!
Ok, Firstly thanks .. thanks sgt bilko for unlocking post and yes I'm a little nuts, but hey it's a pretty mad world and only the strange survive..
I do feel a bit silly as 1. the blatant moving up of my post should have read something like
"blatant moving up of post in operation" aren't i a bad toad! then at least those who used to watch dangermouse would have at least the slightest inclination as to what the f***
i was prattling on about
2. the original post was titled WTFLBMW hence the quote from eager slut.. which was an acronym i was going to keep running but thought it was(a) not very funny and( b)not very funny so that was scrapped
postscript about the poll was in my defence the only thing i probably got right.I put a poll in the box marked poll and when i sent it, it wasn't there , so technology is to blame!!
However in conclusion these inane ramblings have served 2 worthwhile purposes
1. my chances of finding a swinging partner(the whole point of the post in the first place) have just greatly plummeted to somewhere very very low, below the earths crust
2 I'm so bloody embarrassed at making a complete gobshite of myself.. theres a fair chance i won't make another post for a very long time indeed!!
Thanks for listening , you are truly wonderful people, where as i have to take solace in the fact i'm just a handsome stud , with the brain capacity of an eight year old.. let the pisstaking begin :idea:
I do feel a bit silly as 1. the blatant moving up of my post should have read something like
"blatant moving up of post in operation" aren't i a bad toad! then at least those who used to watch dangermouse would have at least the slightest inclination as to what the f***
i was prattling on about
2. the original post was titled WTFLBMW hence the quote from eager slut.. which was an acronym i was going to keep running but thought it was(a) not very funny and( b)not very funny so that was scrapped
postscript about the poll was in my defence the only thing i probably got right.I put a poll in the box marked poll and when i sent it, it wasn't there , so technology is to blame!!
However in conclusion these inane ramblings have served 2 worthwhile purposes
1. my chances of finding a swinging partner(the whole point of the post in the first place) have just greatly plummeted to somewhere very very low, below the earths crust
2 I'm so bloody embarrassed at making a complete gobshite of myself.. theres a fair chance i won't make another post for a very long time indeed!!
Thanks for listening , you are truly wonderful people, where as i have to take solace in the fact i'm just a handsome stud , with the brain capacity of an eight year old.. let the pisstaking begin :idea:
Hiya all, I'm Paul 35 from Manchester I'd love to find a swinging partner/s( yeah i should be so lucky) in the Manchester / North West area ...I'm new to the scene 
but very genuine 
Just wasn't my exes thing 
I've an ad on S/H :arrow: 58563
Would love to hear from some of you wonderful people out there
and hope to contribute in a positive way to the site :boxing: :idea:
Bye For now
I'd love to find a swinging partner/s( yeah i should be so lucky) in the Manchester / North West area ...I'm new to the scene but very genuine Just wasn't my exes thing I've an ad on S/H :arrow: 58563
Would love to hear from some of you wonderful people out there
and hope to contribute in a positive way to the site
:boxing: :idea: Bye For now
