Quote by Sgt Bilko
i found a site selling replicas of animals penises
Why would you be looking for that????
:? :? :? :? :? 
:dunno: :dunno:Your the one that told me about the bloody site the other day remember sarg
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Forum
:wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:you have time to listen to an entire album!....sheesh...I'm lucky to see out a radio edit single...pmsl.
but to answer the question.....I am partial to a little classical spainish guitar music....Flamenco, etc, etc.....
Could come up with a compilation album for you...
1. Tom Jones - Sex bomb
2. Salt-n-peppa - Lets talk about sex
3. James Brown - Sex machine
4. Lemon jelly - come down on me
5. Snoop dogg - doggy style
6. Rick james - give it to me baby
7. Webbie - give me that pussy
One night we were parked up in a quiet location up on the cliffs looking over the bay.
We were sitting there chatting like we usually did and one thing led to another as it usually did. Well just as things were starting to get exciting i somehow knocked the handbrake of the car which was parked on a slope facing downwards toward the cliff edge.
Well next thing is,the cars flying of down the slope,bumps down a big step and moments from going over the cliff i just manage to pull the handbrake up saving our lives by inches.
Needless to say we never parked there again,especially since we had to get the car towed out as it was too dangerous to move it ourselves.
So has anybody else had any similar experiences they would like to share ?
We were sitting there chatting like we usually did and one thing led to another as it usually did. Well just as things were starting to get exciting i somehow knocked the handbrake of the car which was parked on a slope facing downwards toward the cliff edge.
Well next thing is,the cars flying of down the slope,bumps down a big step and moments from going over the cliff i just manage to pull the handbrake up saving our lives by inches.
Needless to say we never parked there again,especially since we had to get the car towed out as it was too dangerous to move it ourselves.
So has anybody else had any similar experiences they would like to share ?
Quote by LisaMarie
I could read it no problems first time, but i am dyslexic and have several children
that does help translate some things lol.
lisamarie
Hope im not being too rude Lisamarie but seven kids ....... how old are you?
You look really young in your pic
Hope no offence taken
Just curious
Young couple,Paul 23,Nicola 19 both new to the scene looking for a couple,single female,male who has previous experience of clubs to go with.
we are located in South Manchester and were thinking of going to Eves or Xandus sometime but would ideally like to go with someone or arrange to meet someone there.
thanks
we are located in South Manchester and were thinking of going to Eves or Xandus sometime but would ideally like to go with someone or arrange to meet someone there.
thanks
Know how you feel,only last week i stupidly left my phone on the seat of my car,must have fallen out of my pocket as i got out.
Didnt realise it was lost till i woke in the morning to find a broken window and can only presume it was because my phone was left on seat.
I would make sure you contact your phone comany quickly as your responsible for any calls made from now untill you report it.
Didnt realise it was lost till i woke in the morning to find a broken window and can only presume it was because my phone was left on seat.
I would make sure you contact your phone comany quickly as your responsible for any calls made from now untill you report it.
A few more to fill his box up ..... :lol: :lol: :lol:
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
What did cured ham actually have?
Why is it when you open a can of evaporated milk it's still full??
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
Posted them all seperately. :wink: Should be getting full.
:lol: :lol: :lol: If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
What did cured ham actually have?
Why is it when you open a can of evaporated milk it's still full??
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
Posted them all seperately. :wink: Should be getting full.
Not something thats happened to me personally,
something i read which i thought was pretty funny
So there I was in this club desperately trying to pull and she walks in. A goddess! What the hell she saw in me I don't know!! Any way one thing led to the next and she was asking me back to her place. Problem was I really needed to take a dump but asking her to wait while I went to the bogs didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. So.... I sucked it up and we jumped in a taxi back to hers.
20 mins later, we're getting off with each other in her flat and I just can't hold it any more so I ask her if I can borrow her toilet for a second. She says fine but tells me that she wants to take a shower first so why don't I wait for her in the bedroom! You see my predicament! There I am with this sex kitten but I need a shite! Well, I couldn't stop her from taking a shower so trying not to shake too much I head into her room.
I turn down the lights to make it nice and moody and sit there on the bed imagining the joys that were sure to follow. By this time however, I really need to go so. I'm dying and am trying to think of what I can do!!! Then it hits me!! The greatest idea since HP sauce!! I take off a sock, pull down my jeans and kegs and proceed to do the business in the sock. Unbelievably, I don't spill a drop and by tying it up, I can use the top to wipe my arse too. After finishing up, the only problem I have to deal with is disposing with the dirty sock. I look around the room but am unable to find suitable places for the offending garment to be hidden. Then I spy the window.
Looking out I see that after a small back yard, there is a wall and beyond that a park. So I'm thinking to myself that if I make it over the wall I'm safe. No problem. I start swinging the sock around my head. Once! Twice! and then i let FLY! The sock sails over the wall and well into the park. I feel as if I've scored the winning goal in the World Cup!!
Feeling relieved and horny, I sit on the bed, take the rest of my gear off and wait for the angel to exit the shower. I hear her finish and she enters the room! She looks hot in the towel and as she lowers it to the ground and turns on the light, her face turns from one of lust to one of horror!!! and I see WHY!
Splattered on all 4 walls is shit which must have leaked out through the sock while I was spinning it round my head!
I think i would die
something i read which i thought was pretty funny
So there I was in this club desperately trying to pull and she walks in. A goddess! What the hell she saw in me I don't know!! Any way one thing led to the next and she was asking me back to her place. Problem was I really needed to take a dump but asking her to wait while I went to the bogs didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. So.... I sucked it up and we jumped in a taxi back to hers.
20 mins later, we're getting off with each other in her flat and I just can't hold it any more so I ask her if I can borrow her toilet for a second. She says fine but tells me that she wants to take a shower first so why don't I wait for her in the bedroom! You see my predicament! There I am with this sex kitten but I need a shite! Well, I couldn't stop her from taking a shower so trying not to shake too much I head into her room.
I turn down the lights to make it nice and moody and sit there on the bed imagining the joys that were sure to follow. By this time however, I really need to go so. I'm dying and am trying to think of what I can do!!! Then it hits me!! The greatest idea since HP sauce!! I take off a sock, pull down my jeans and kegs and proceed to do the business in the sock. Unbelievably, I don't spill a drop and by tying it up, I can use the top to wipe my arse too. After finishing up, the only problem I have to deal with is disposing with the dirty sock. I look around the room but am unable to find suitable places for the offending garment to be hidden. Then I spy the window.
Looking out I see that after a small back yard, there is a wall and beyond that a park. So I'm thinking to myself that if I make it over the wall I'm safe. No problem. I start swinging the sock around my head. Once! Twice! and then i let FLY! The sock sails over the wall and well into the park. I feel as if I've scored the winning goal in the World Cup!!
Feeling relieved and horny, I sit on the bed, take the rest of my gear off and wait for the angel to exit the shower. I hear her finish and she enters the room! She looks hot in the towel and as she lowers it to the ground and turns on the light, her face turns from one of lust to one of horror!!! and I see WHY!
Splattered on all 4 walls is shit which must have leaked out through the sock while I was spinning it round my head!
I think i would die
Sorry if this has been answered before but we have searched the forums and dont seem to be able to find the answer.
We are new to the scene living in South Manchester and were looking to find any local swinging clubs to visit. We are ideally looking for somewhere with a relaxed atmosphere where we can take our time to suss things out and eventually get involved.
Also curious as to wether you can just walk in or if you need a membership and prices ect.
As were a little nervous and unsure of what to expect any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance Paul and Nicola.
We are new to the scene living in South Manchester and were looking to find any local swinging clubs to visit. We are ideally looking for somewhere with a relaxed atmosphere where we can take our time to suss things out and eventually get involved.
Also curious as to wether you can just walk in or if you need a membership and prices ect.
As were a little nervous and unsure of what to expect any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance Paul and Nicola.
