Speaking from the point of someone fairly shiny new to all of this, to be honest it can be a little daunting speaking out, especially on forums. There's a lot of you out there that know so much about the scene, know each other, chat and laugh in the forums with each other, and can generally seen to be having a very good time.
It's nice to see, don't get me wrong, but as a new person here, wanting to step up to the plate and say hi, it can be a little intimidating, much the same as going into a pub full of people on your own, as has been mentioned. Do you sit and listen to the conversations (or read the threads as in the case of the forums) and keep quiet until someone speaks to you (unfortunately not going to happen on forums because of the way they are) or do you just leap in with both feet, take the plunge and speak? On forums it has to be the latter, and while I'm not backward in coming forward once I know people, or at least have spoken to them before, the first time is very much a case of "what if they don't like me? What if they think I'm talking a load of old whatsits?"
Forums and chat by their very nature get cliquey, because some people you click with and get on with, others you don't. I like forums because of the wide ranging topics that get discussed, and believe me, I've read a fair few even though I've not been here that long. I've been tempted to post, but forum posts tend to be a bit longer lasting than chat (by a long way) and if you make a total fool of yourself, it's there for all to see for however long the post is there. First impressions are unfortunately quite long lasting, and I personally don't want to make a bad one (although I'm rambling on and having a fairly good go at it here!)
I find chat easier in some respects, and have signed up to go to a chat social (advertised on LMU) simply because I've been talking to the people and wouldn't feel like I was walking into a room full of strangers. The fact that they are mostly local to me as well means there is more probability of meeting up again in the future after meeting them in a small(ish) group somewhere that's not too far from home should I feel uncomfortable (although I doubt that will happen, since the group are very welcoming and I feel right at home with them already).
Munches are a much bigger deal for someone in my situation, new to everything, and a name that most people don't see on a regular basis. I prefer to have the comfort zone of at least one prson I know anywhere I go, on the grounds that if I'm feeling too timid (yes I am sometimes quite a shy person, especially with the unknown factor) to join in, then at least there will be someone who I can talk to and can introduce me to others. I expect munch attendance will come with time.
For chatters like me (and no I don't get them out on cam!) the whole "drop in, say hi, drop out if you don't like the way the room is going" is easier to deal with than the more daunting forums. If you find the right room to be in, the people are warm, friendly, and I've been looked after in my first few days. I was very "Ooooh no. Thanks but no thanks" when I was first asked about the social, but after a couple of days, I couldn't resist meeting the people I've been having such a laugh with.
Perhaps with more posts on the forums, I will feel the same about the munches. They're still big scary things to me right now, as I don't know what's expected of me, not having read up on them too much. It's something I will get to in time with my forum browsing though, and I'm sure there are plenty of people who will put my mind at rest too.
For now though, smaller is better as this new (and very inexperienced) swinger joins the ranks.
I looked up a couple in the dictionary and was rather surprised to find some had fallen into common usage as proper words... F.U.B.A.R. and S.N.A.F.U. both make an appearance, although in a politer version of the real acronym! :shock:
Hi Southwest,
Would love to come along and meet everyone if I can...
Mel
xxx
