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Nicekat
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 60
Straight Male, 60
0 miles · County Durham
Forum
Sexpert
My ex hubby was never very compimentary but thank god my boy friend likes me no matter what size I am and in whatever clothes I wear and he is not bothered about make up either.
I know how you feel!
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If I went shopping perfecly dressed With all my slap on, I would not remain so for long Id end up looking like Id been dragged through a bush backwards anyway
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Theladyisaminx
I once was questioned and felt judged years ago from my hubby as to why I didn’t dress more like a real woman.
He married me as I have always been, I will never change to please anyone.
I know how you feel!
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If I went shopping perfecly dressed With all my slap on, I would not remain so for long Id end up looking like Id been dragged through a bush backwards anyway
. Sexpert
Do you think that these make over TV shows are realistic would you like to see people dressed up to the nines and wear lots of make up every minute of every day?
I dont beleve that there are many people walking around dressed like the people who have been on such programs.
Many people may not have money to spend on lots of chothes every year to keap in fashion and they dress for the occasion.
I do not have the money to dress up to the nines in every minute every day in my life and I dress for the occasion , for example, I dress for where I go, such as at work I wear cheap tshirt and jeans and little make up and when I go shoping I wear more expensive tshirt or nice tops and jeans and a little make up but when I go out on an evening I dress up to the nines and wear more make up to look good.
I dont beleve that there are many people walking around dressed like the people who have been on such programs.
Many people may not have money to spend on lots of chothes every year to keap in fashion and they dress for the occasion.
I do not have the money to dress up to the nines in every minute every day in my life and I dress for the occasion , for example, I dress for where I go, such as at work I wear cheap tshirt and jeans and little make up and when I go shoping I wear more expensive tshirt or nice tops and jeans and a little make up but when I go out on an evening I dress up to the nines and wear more make up to look good.
Sexpert
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I have always known that I have never been good at accepting praise, that I have always felt unworthy and feel it is unjustified.
This is something for years I have questioned in me and needed to know why this was the case and to understand it.
By talking to someone that doesn’t know me in the vanilla world has hepled me put nearly all the pieces together.
One of the things I said was I knew I was never doubted by my family that has never been the case, it has always been people outside of my family that has made me feel that way.
The pieces have just dropped into place, I was fine until 12 very contented and happy, then I was bullied at school by a large group of girls at one stage had around 30 kicking and punching me, because I didn’t want to join inclusive groups but to have my own views and not that of others enforced upon me. This then lead me to always wonder why, why would people show such hatred to want to hurt me. This has lead me on a mission for years to try to understand others thoughts and reasoning behind such behaviour.
I forgave the bullies years ago, I have since learnt that it must have been their insecurities that lead them to be that way.
But I then didn’t like school it wasn’t a place I felt safe and secure at 16 I had another blow when my form teacher just before I left school said to me “All you are fit for is clearing up others rubbish.
So this then lead me believe I was stupid uneducated and worthless.I suppose in a way I knew that wasn’t true but I have never felt able to leave those words behind and move on, but have always felt a battle to prove my worth.
I have not written this to ask for pity or praise, I guess I am writing it as a way of understanding it all.
I have done many threads in this forum and until I wrote here, I never had the confidence to write anything.
So all those that have put up with my ramblings over the time, I would like to say Thanks it was part of me finding myself and having the confidence within to realise in someway I might not be as thick as that teacher thought I was.
A lot of you here have helped in so many ways if only you knew how much.
God I know how you feel, understand and I am glad I know you . Although I did have family problems which thankfully you never had, the things you talked about like the bullying and how the school teacher spoke to you strikes a cord with me as I went through very similar stuff and I know how it can affect ya life. Its took alot for me to get on with my life and I have had success in my life but sometimes my past comes back and to get me, it could be the way someone makes me feel or a mood I get in. Relationships with people is sometimes hard or me.
Sexpert
Quote by Theladyisaminx
This is such a hard subject for me to talk about. I dont know where to start apart from smacking is different to a beating. I dont agrea with smacking or beating a child. I did smack my child a couple of times but I found that there are other ways of coping with my childrens occasional bad behavior, for example, the naughty chair, explaning things to them and taking things of my children as a punnishmet and it did work. My children are now in their 20s now and are decent poeple.
I got a lot of beatings from my mam with pokers belts and more and then my dad would join in with his hand. This happen to me from as young as 2 from what I can remember, the beatings happend to me for no reason I did not have to do any thing wrong. I learned from my mam and dads mistakes But some poeple do not. My friend and her hubby was very violent with her children and they have become violent poeple.
Whatever poeple do to tell there children off it should be consistant if they do something wrong they should be punnished and not get away with it and hopefully the child will learn from it. hopefully temper should never come into it but no ones perfect, im not perfect.
I don't know if I am stepping out of line here it is not my intent, I do believe no children should ever be beaten with any object and that is where all children should be protected. No child deserves a beating for any reason and the parents should be held accountable.I am not a perfect parent as you are not what we are both trying to do is raise our children the best way we can we are not given a guide book the day they are born. It seems to me you know whats right and wrong and you are a good parent and a damn site more perfect than a lot out there.
Good luck xxx
Thanks for the compliment, im not good at taking compliments.
You are the same as me and you did and do your best at rasing your children, all you can do is you best and like you said no 1 is perfect, im not.
Sorry for repeating myself.
your welcome Take the compliment and wear it proud. xxx
Your right parents should be held accountable. I do blame my parents and yet I love. I forgive my dad as we have talked about it as he understands what he he has done but my mam is a different kettle of fish.
Sexpert
Quote by Theladyisaminx
This is such a hard subject for me to talk about. I dont know where to start apart from smacking is different to a beating. I dont agrea with smacking or beating a child. I did smack my child a couple of times but I found that there are other ways of coping with my childrens occasional bad behavior, for example, the naughty chair, explaning things to them and taking things of my children as a punnishmet and it did work. My children are now in their 20s now and are decent poeple.
I got a lot of beatings from my mam with pokers belts and more and then my dad would join in with his hand. This happen to me from as young as 2 from what I can remember, the beatings happend to me for no reason I did not have to do any thing wrong. I learned from my mam and dads mistakes But some poeple do not. My friend and her hubby was very violent with her children and they have become violent poeple.
Whatever poeple do to tell there children off it should be consistant if they do something wrong they should be punnished and not get away with it and hopefully the child will learn from it. hopefully temper should never come into it but no ones perfect, im not perfect.
I don't know if I am stepping out of line here it is not my intent, I do believe no children should ever be beaten with any object and that is where all children should be protected. No child deserves a beating for any reason and the parents should be held accountable.
I am not a perfect parent as you are not what we are both trying to do is raise our children the best way we can we are not given a guide book the day they are born. It seems to me you know whats right and wrong and you are a good parent and a damn site more perfect than a lot out there.
Good luck xxx
Thanks for the compliment, im not good at taking compliments.
You are the same as me and you did and do your best at rasing your children, all you can do is you best and like you said no 1 is perfect, im not.
Sorry for repeating myself.
Sexpert
Quote by Dave__Notts
He has made a claim that is not backed up with anything but anecdotal evidence.
I bet if we dug out a pamphlet from the 1800s we would have someone complaining about people being a drain on the Local Parish purse strings because of the Poor Laws. It is nothing not news, it comes around and around.
Most claimants are honest people that have fallen on hard times, with a minority who do abuse the system but newspapers incite hatred of the many with inflamitary words. This is the basis of Gaunty and his views.......but are they his views or his persona in the paper and radio to sell papers or gain listeners. I am a bit sceptical of him
Dave_Notts
I agrea could not have put it better myself
Sexpert
Quote by Theladyisaminx
We are not meeting now and I have been wondering if I could stay on this site and just form lasting friendships, I know I have raised this before but this is a kind of update.
A few weeks ago I got talking to a guy that I told straight away that we don’t meet and he was happy to just chat, me being a little sceptical I went with it.
A few weeks on now I feel I have found a real genuine friend someone that I can talk to on very deep meaningful levels and someone that has taken me out of my comfort Zone totally is able to understand me, we have both really enjoyed chatting and never seem to tire of doing so.
I liken it to some people you meet in life draw charge from your batteries I can’t explain why this is, while other recharge them and they last for hours.
He recharges my batteries and hope long may this special friendship last.
So I do believe you can form true friendships here.
And I hope long lasting one too.
I believe a true friend accepts every part of you.
They always want to talk about you and not themselves
They can tell you honest and truthful things about yourself without it feeling they are being critical.
You always enjoy chatting to each other.
How do others see true friendships?
It sounds lovely can I have a friend please
: I find that in real life most of my vanila friends are takers and not givers,for example, they talk to me, they tell me things I keap to them to myself, I listen and dont often advise as it is not my place and more, but get non of the same back. Sexpert
Quote by foxylady2209
My sister chose not to force any religion on her son so she had a naming day. Family round, a few carefully chosen gifts and a lovely cake. It suited the family to do that. He's 18 soon and hasn't turned into Damien from the omen.
The annoying thing is I suggested it to her having decided that I shouldn't have had my son christened 3 years previously.
In a religious family I can sort of see the point - the kids won't have any choice of religion anyway. But in a non religious or at least non-practicing household it seems a little bit previous.
I'm all for baptism etc at an age when the person can make their own informed decision. That could easily be 12 for many youngsters. I'd probably expect the child to be a regular attendee at church first though.
Just my thoughts.
In edit - I was christened Methodist - does that count? LOL
I was christened Methodist and confirmed in the Church of England how daft is that? or should I say who cares as I dont go to church, allthough I have had the Jehovah, Witneses around
:twisted: Little do they know 
Sexpert
This is such a hard subject for me to talk about. I dont know where to start apart from smacking is different to a beating. I dont agrea with smacking or beating a child. I did smack my child a couple of times but I found that there are other ways of coping with my childrens occasional bad behavior, for example, the naughty chair, explaning things to them and taking things of my children as a punnishmet and it did work. My children are now in their 20s now and are decent poeple.
I got a lot of beatings from my mam with pokers belts and more and then my dad would join in with his hand. This happen to me from as young as 2 from what I can remember, the beatings happend to me for no reason I did not have to do any thing wrong. I learned from my mam and dads mistakes But some poeple do not. My friend and her hubby was very violent with her children and they have become violent poeple.
Whatever poeple do to tell there children off it should be consistant if they do something wrong they should be punnished and not get away with it and hopefully the child will learn from it. hopefully temper should never come into it but no ones perfect, im not perfect.
I got a lot of beatings from my mam with pokers belts and more and then my dad would join in with his hand. This happen to me from as young as 2 from what I can remember, the beatings happend to me for no reason I did not have to do any thing wrong. I learned from my mam and dads mistakes But some poeple do not. My friend and her hubby was very violent with her children and they have become violent poeple.
Whatever poeple do to tell there children off it should be consistant if they do something wrong they should be punnished and not get away with it and hopefully the child will learn from it. hopefully temper should never come into it but no ones perfect, im not perfect.
Sexpert
I think violece towards an animal or human should never be accepted and should be punnished and the the punnishment should fit the crime. What ever the punnishment is there should be some form education and counciling to help reform the violent people. We can at least try to reform violent people it may not work or it may work but I think its worth a try.
Sexpert
Im not good at puting words together but here goes. Any Questions on what I mean and I will try to explain mmore of what I mean.
Poeple who cause harm to animals or human beings such as hitting and fighting and or have anger problems, it is not right and those people are not nice but it could be because they where not fetched up right, for example, they where abused themselves. But those who cause severe harm to animals or human beings have gone beyond that, for example, people who cause pain or murder for fun can or do have metal health problems and do have an elament of evil at the same time. Violence should never be excused.
Poeple who cause harm to animals or human beings such as hitting and fighting and or have anger problems, it is not right and those people are not nice but it could be because they where not fetched up right, for example, they where abused themselves. But those who cause severe harm to animals or human beings have gone beyond that, for example, people who cause pain or murder for fun can or do have metal health problems and do have an elament of evil at the same time. Violence should never be excused.
Sexpert
Quote by varca
My sons much loved cat which lived in my house for 3 years untill my son left home and took the cat with him. The was mentaly scarred from the miss treatment it received as a kitten. The cat does not like people its not even comfortable with us but as each year passes by with all the love it receives the cat is getting more friendly.
The person whom misstreated the cat when it was a kitten hit it violently and she is also violent towards people even her huby.
Luckily that little cat found a loving home with you and your son
The foster carer I spoke to said that the kitten is thankfully not emotionally scarred or afraid of people. I have to admit that I am now worried about smoking outside and the kitten seeing me do that as it is possible that it may affect it.
Thank you for the complement :thumbup:
I know how you feel, you dont want to make the kitten remember things from its past for the fear that you affect it mentaly. I felt the same Im always soft as muck with the cat just to prove not all people are the same and the cat is friendlier and more trusting now
:) :) Sexpert
My sons much loved cat which lived in my house for 3 years untill my son left home and took the cat with him. The was mentaly scarred from the miss treatment it received as a kitten. The cat does not like people its not even comfortable with us but as each year passes by with all the love it receives the cat is getting more friendly.
The person whom misstreated the cat when it was a kitten hit it violently and she is also violent towards people even her huby.
The person whom misstreated the cat when it was a kitten hit it violently and she is also violent towards people even her huby.
