Can i print them?..can i?...can i?
and can i make up the wording?
"i have just robbed those houses and am having a rest officer"
"this is the safest place to have a coffee officer, lots of police cars keep driving in"
ouch...(holds heart)
the above couple have a free pass any night of the week, regardless of hair colour
thanks to all the regulars for making this a fun thread, (i can imagine some of the mods had to reread the opening thread twice to check the intention) but its prob gone on a little tooooooooo long and after this week i may delete it
To any newcomers, im sure you took it as meant...lightearted and a complete opening 'poke' at the way some of the private ads are appearing of late.
have fun and get over to Derby sometime soon
Mattius
Sampling and other issues
This hair colour malarkey may be confusing new couples.
Its quite simple and nothing to really be worried about.
Firstly the sandwich board at the gate entrance normally lets you know instantly what night/hair colur/size/ shape and fetish is allocated to that car park on the given night
The ettiquette may differ among OGLE or GONAD groups, but we derby folk like to ensure that decorum and manners are observed at all times.
You drive in, park up (as near as poss please as we dont like to walk too far), one of us approaches and presses his nose up to the window whilst shouting "window down", and to make you feel completely at ease we normally lean right into the window and say something along the lines of "eh up me duck, i need a sample" and to make it feel slightly flirty and fun yet not too pushy, perhaps give her a welcoming grope, whilst politely looking at hubby and asking him what the football results were tonight, We find it breaks the ice.
Ahem. For those who havnt read the beginning of this thread. ITS THURSDAY!
Sorry Helen, we just cant help you.
Farmer Colin and 'letmelickit' lillian both look after the membership and rules are rules regards bottle blondes. No jumping the queue. Tuesday or wednesdays only
Jim assures me that all the membership mags are gone but he may have a soiled copy in his boot and will check later.
And to quosh the stupid rumours flying around. NOOOOOOOOO. there will not be a band playing and free bar on new years ever. Its a f****** car park for gods sake!
ah...we changed it
blondes get tues and weds....saturdays are boy racer specials(shoot three and you win a goldfish)
and one eyed alf sends his best jomu....you must come on up and join us some time soon as beds is so quiet
not on thursdays tho...too busy...(wink)
Due to timewasters and people messaging us regular doggers with just winks and no face , tit or leg pics attached ,can you please ensure that you read the whole ad before replying .Those obviously not reading the following and trying to message me without meeting all the criteria will not be responded to and will be deleted.
Thursdays and thursday nights are 'Brunnettes only' dogging nights in Derby. The regulars give plenty of notice and it isnt rocket science to ask and find out, but some blondes and redheads still try and sneek into the car parks late at night expecting attention.
Please learn to respect and follow the rules. This is two days early and those travelling in excess of 200 miles hoping to put on a show will be sorely dissapointed if criteria isnt met.
Underarms shaved
teeth cleaned. we like to know that sucking will leave a cock, minty fresh.
no holes in stockings.
Dont be too demanding and lean over the car bonnet only when asked.
Remember to bring condoms (you wouldnt believe the amount of new couples who forget)
If you flash your lights you will be ignored! One simple internal light flicker is all that is will endeavour to get to you in turn, however rushing us will result in us walking away and discussing football results and it will be very unlikely that you would be invited back.
P.S. For those who need is Blonde night (sizes 8 to 12 only).
Seasons greetings
matt,jack,john,jim,ferret fred,phil,scrag,bill,and one eyed alf.
mattius reads ad..
disrobes and shimmies up tree...
shimmies down tree to put on loin cloth...
shimmies up tree again....stands erect (not that)....beats chest...grabs vine...and whilst swinging manfully (no pun intended) through the woods... screams out...
"Me mattius...pm on its way"
Fabulous night last night chaotic...glad your friends made it and found us all...at one point i didnt know where to look as there seemed to be more couples arriving than single guys...i was like a kid in a sweet factory!.
All nine derby locations seem to be getting busier....just hoping that quiet times are behind us.
This is probably the funniest thread i have ever read....visions of mods editing then rereading edited versions by the 'threadee' had me in fits of giggles...i hope it runs and runs forever....he word 'DOH' keeps springing to mind.
For the new and especially the east midlands couples who hadnt seen the original opening paragraph..'harry' had asked if the rule whereby couples had to first inform mattius of where they were going to be prior to posting a dogging thread was in fact a rule...this was verified by the gorgeous miss 'wigan'as a resounding yes ...i dont make the ruiles i just stick by them.
exit a smirking mattius....enter several mods and edit button....
shameless bump...last night we were let down...it happens!
Three guys who love the scene and wish to meet with a couple who can handle a one off late tonight .can travel!!
preferably a non dogging location to be decided by you
normal rules. we stay in cars until signalled. we also stay within any boundaries you state. happy to just watch you make it a sexy show or play and ensure she is totally satisfied.
but....we like situations where it is preplanned and enjoy being given details via email or text (if given 30 mins prior) as regards location and time. we travel and find you, even if its a map co ordinate.
well that entirely depends...
if they had replied a few hours ago...discussed...preplanned...and then felt spontaneous enough to make it tonight...it would fit the criteria
but thanks for the helpful bump...wink
and yes....you guessed it..no one has so far!!
Single guy is looking for fun with a difference tonight. Th difference being that it is preplanned and discussed and made to feel erotic
prefer 'treasure hunt' situations by text or email
always happy to follow any rules you make prior
can suggest lots of non dogging locations for complete privacy
(can also accomodate)
I must unashamedly flount the rules and specify a location as you are both obviously craving for a new dogging spot...
there is a site!!....totally new!!...perfect for warrington couples...unused by warrington boy racers...and to date not one warrington police car has been seen there.
Its known as 'DERBY'...all you need is...a car....a map...four gallons of petrol..and a pm to me prior to departing
seriously tho...i hope you both find somewhere.
keep trying. lots on here are normally more than happy to advise of new locations near to you...try the search button and ask a few local swingers
i was emailed direct and asked to comment, but politely declined and have heard nothing since.
David
just think about why you got the replies you did
The whole tone of the original posting was condescending towards single guys and the revamp that you have just done is just more of the same. bad attitude!!
perhaps the posting was genuine, but a simple 'i have a spare secluded site and would any couples be interested?' rather than 'Are you being harrassed by singles etc?' would have stopped you getting the response you have.
good luck with hopefully better future postings
ok. my turn.
Totally safe secluded double garage available near to my secluded back garden.
Available for cornering of couples for my own personal use.
No police & no boy racers have been seen anywhere near.
Genuine first time naive couples only required.
might need to be a little more specific as there are five seperate car parks at that location, and as its probably the busiest dogging location in the midlands make sure you give 'prospectives' clear details as to where and car etc
good luck, have fun
update (and shameless bump)
had replies but need to be local... only please
Single w/e male looking to meet a genuine couple for some spontaneous sexy fun tonight. Either a dogging or non dogging location, your choice.
suggestions welcome and all pms replied to.
Are you a couple/fem who would prefer to make it spontaneous when the time is right and not until?
i am not seeking the normal 'photo ad' couple who have criteria and an endless list of do's, dont's and restrictions followed by email tennis and debate. there is nothing wrong with the previous, its just not at all what i am looking for.
I am not looking for drinks, no flirting in bars, no pre meet, no becoming friends first. i dont even want to see a photo as that would involve some sort of pre knowledge and planning
I am just looking for a couple with whom to briefly correspond, build a scenario around what they want and desire and give them my number to use as and when it feels right for them and only then!
No expectation and no agreement to make a meet in the next week. but instead to make it a sexy scenario where all know what to expect, perhaps even a one-off to fulfill a particualr desire/fantasy where they just give me a two hour notice even if its 3 am one morning (i just bet that gets a remark)
all pm's replied to.
derby has been really quiet for some time now and under normal circumstances i would not wish to see any negative report on the derby dogging scene but nightmare events are now so regular that something has to be done.
Since a local newspaper report a few weeks ago with the headline 'sex acts' groups of teenage idiots have been turning up in the main 'm' and 'a' locations and threatening people. cars have had windows smashed and others have been followed and chased.
The swinging scene majority are people who get along well and respect each others privacy and traits. gays and non gays and dogging couples generally acknowledge each others situations without any problems.
straight guys dont normally have any problems knowing gay guys are in the car parks, police are generally seen but hardly cause real problems and from time to time just move singles along but not once do we see them challenging or moving on groups of teens in cars. A lot of people seem to think that the teens are actually 'closets' in as much that most straights dont see gays as a problem therefore the teens who do probably have psychological problems or are hiding sexual sides which they cant tell their friends about...thus they come into the car parks to vent their personal problems via anger....a form of denial.
as police are doing nothing at all and this is getting to the stage where somebody is going to get seriously hurt. Most regulars have chosen to use the other non published sites where no police or teens frequent.
Any suggestions....should numbers of cars causing problems be taken down and sent to police?
randy male playing alone tonight and looking to watch a couple (up to you how far it goes)
anywhere and any time....known location or totally quiet...your choice
pm with details . will supply my mobile for arrangements
perhaps not unexpected but when trawling the photo section, most ads come across as 'heres us! -her tits, my cock -email and we will sift through and pick some ....and most we wont'
very little detail seems to be given to what the actual driving force and desires are behind the ad...instead most just seem to have a catalogue of criteria, age, height,how, when etc
but when talking to couples face to face about how they got in the scene, there are always fabulous intimate stories about mutual fantasies and desires....dreams of situations that havnt been fulfilled in the marital bedroom...etc etc
what makes me wonder is why so few actually open up in adverts, so that prospective (ahem) buddies can give more informative imaginative responses
ok...im a total fantasist and adore finding couples and females with whom it isnt just 'a meet'...its a total mutual role play sexy scenario
this is to ask others opinions as to whether they think the ads have changed over time and has the sensuality / fantasy been lost?
oops...and mods...this has been edited and prob needs to be bumped to the cafe section now
