Quote by westerross
Fluckin' 'ell - I will not be responsible for killing this thread. It's brilliant!
Somebody help kill it off for me - Mike!!!
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Kill??? You need a hitman????
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8-)Quote by Ice Pie:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
The bloodsport of newbie baiting isn't exclusive to mods, and not all mods are newbie baiters.
The difficulty the mods have is they are presumed to be in big-stick mode all the time, whereas in fact most of them would just like to get stuck in and speak their mind along with everyone else with no quarter asked or given, regardless of the fact that they happen to have an extra button or two, but everything they say is taken by some people as some sort of official proclamation. The situation isn't helped by crawling wannabes telling people not to disagree with mods. What a crock o' shite that is, they're people just the same as everyone else (except for the three heads, obviously), and if they take a few liberties now and then, well so does everyone else. I say things on here I wouldn't dare say if I were a mod, so it's not quite as one-sided as we sometimes imagine.
On balance I think as a non-mod I'm in the favourable position: If I step out of line, I get it in the neck from two or three mods - they step out of line they get it in the neck from every armchair lawyer with a keyboard, including me. :twisted:
:huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh: :huh:
Quote by Dawn_Mids
Just to give you a rough idea and I do know that this is my choice but this is my morning
am pc and kettle on
am log into my email and Swinging Heaven.
Check on kids progress for school
am Check mods and OP mail and go between moving wrongly placed ads and packed lunches. Now considering mods mail was checked and probably cleared up around 6 am this morning, there is still enough to keep me amused most of the morning because it is constantly trickling in.
am kids have left so a quick half an hour in the chatroom to make sure there are no problems and have a natter with a couple of mates (Yeah, that means about an hours)
am back into mods email and to the forum to attempt to read ALL the posts that are new since I last logged on.
I’ve just put the washing machine on, washing on the line and grabbed some fruit to eat for breakfast.
am I am still here working through mods email and forum postings.
Now I have to worry about that you think SaxonLogan. If I am posting as a mod or as Dawn.
Behave :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
That is one mod, there are a number of us doing similar things all day including the work Mark puts in.
Are ya done being a WHINGER yet SaxonLogan
SaxonLogan....
SHUT UP YOU WHINGER
Spoken as a mod, not a person
Gawd do I soooooooooo lurve you two..... MODS are great.. even the infamous Sgt Bilko :shock:
Yup just got to say SaxonLogan.... They have hard nuff job as it is... and believe me as a PERSON its hard nuff going through the posts, imagine being a mod and looking at the hundreds of post that are done daily??? Your eyes would just fall out - this is coming from an ex-mod/op from my yesterdays...
Sozz NO sympathy here....
Can I get a AMEN??
Mods :worship: Mods :worship: Mods :worship: Mods SaxonLogan
Okey dokey now.. time to jet
Quote by JucyLucy
A cock fight......splendid
Does fight with his cock... could be charged with assualt with a dead weapon
ops:DEAD ciscocat6k??? :shock: Bring it here i'll liven it up again
Me thinks you not know what you asking for :twisted: :twisted:
Eh but live and learn...... :giggle: :giggle:
:notes: take notes too.... may need to refer to them later :notes:
Quote by Silk and Big G
Over the years I have visited many chat rooms....Yes I know, I should get a life !!!
But, quite often I have entered a chat room and before I have even spoken to anyone I have received an uninvited whisper/private message from someone in the chat.
Now thats ok...sometimes I will answer if the person is polite and seems interesting.
Usually they are not............But humorous, yes....
The following are just a selection of a few 'opening lines' I have received from other people in chat rooms.
Remember on all occasions I have not yet spoken in the room but in some chats do have a profile and photograph..(I have removed all these peoples chat names from these messages)
A: hello
A: how are you ?
A: do you want to see my penis ?
A: 16/m
B: are you some kind of psycho-analyst?
C: You are lovely, care to chat with a well bred but naked man?
D: what a great look...thanks for sharing
E: I love that sassy look gurl
F: do you want me to do a striptease? I am spanish guy living in belfast
G: may I be your slave? either physically or financially used by you?
H: can I please be your bitch ill take any kinky order u say?
I: u have a very Mono Lisa type smile in your pic, almost as if you r thinking I know something u don't
J: evenin gurl, u like it up the batty?
K: let me taste you
And finally I stepped away from my pc for a minute to find this message on my return
L: do u wanna cyber
L: well
L: plz
L: don't be shy
L: u know u wanna
L: r u frigget
L: i think u r
L: don't make me talk to my self
L: come on i'm naked and got a hard on
L: don't make me do it alone
L: u rude bitch
L has left the conversation.
Damn !!!...how did I let that one get away??? He was such a smooth talker and seemed to know all the right things to say.
- just a 'frigget' gurl
Ok, not quite the same and a little old, but it still makes me giggle.
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner. It smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you! Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK.
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes smiling. My hand works it's way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hands suddenly jerks spastically and accidently rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm sorry. really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! YEEEE!!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties!
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on your ...ummmm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking!
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit! I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. wait it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hallway.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately, our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover!
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my..you know.. thing..in your..you know.. women's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your Neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me Now!
Wellhung: I'm Flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around, an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face. My wiener is all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No Wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtains on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to Hell! I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh Noooooooooo!
Sweetheart: -logged off-
DAM Silk... ya didnt have to tell everyone bout us?? sheesh... :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Oh... soz read the wrong one.. not me .. dont shop at Walmart, not 6'3...or 250lbs...
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Quote by Dave__Notts
I can't get in :cry: :cry: :cry:
I'm buggered if I can remember my password though, so that might be it
Jas
XXX
Feckin Dave_Notts won't be able too either when I find where I left me keys - bastard
Has anyone else ever noticed that ex-marines never have a sense of humour
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Dave_Notts
PS I am not a bastard..............................you can ask the milkman
MILKMAN?? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Thought it was the iceman then.....
:? :?Quote by JucyLucy
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
.
Ooeeerrrr sounds like one of my txts
:lol:Gawd I think i am in love... will you lust with me JuicyLucy???
:inlove: :inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
Quote by postie
Das war wunderbar! Ich lachen meinen kopf los... und ich pissen meine lederhosen!!
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
You have lederhosen????
Been holding out on me eh???
Alright wishmaster.. we need to convene... lederhosen.. gotta be sumfin in our charter bout that!!!!
:duel: :duel: :duel: :duel: Quote by Wishmaster
And to make matters worse.........
I can't get my msn to work either........... aaaaahhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!
Some serious retail therapy is now required.... the platinum card is going to get it...lol
mmmmm...... now where shall i shop???????????
equi-princess xxx
(over-worked and now extremely hacked off too!)
Haven't you got 'other' things to do equi???
I am sure that I can offer her PLENTY to do
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
