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Relais
2 weeks ago
Bi-curious Male, 52
0 miles · North Yorkshire
Forum
)Went out a month or so ago on a fantastic night - warm, still, moonlit etc etc. I spent the evening visiting a good few sites in Lancs and didn't see anybody else. By which I mean nobody else... not just no couples or no action, but nobody, not a single solitary dogger!
Some of the obvious places were maybe a bit too busy a few years ago, but I was suprised not to see anyone at all.
Some of the obvious places were maybe a bit too busy a few years ago, but I was suprised not to see anyone at all.
Timo
Like me it sounds like you are looking for a genuine, exciting and shared erotic experience, as (I hope) are the couples who show. But out there in the wild it can feel very much like you are on your own.
I suspect I may well have loitered in the same places as you, or not far off. Patience is so important. I have always 'walked' away if I wasn't comfortable, and I am almost sure that I've missed out once or twice because of this. But I've also once been chased out of a car park and followed for miles by a couple who really were NOT wanting to be watched (even though they were obviously and quite openly having sex in a place well frequented by the dogging community). The best night ever was when I pulled in and saw a car with movement in it, oviously a couple who were just enjoying themselves regardless. I approached carefully on the basis that they must have seen my lights and would react if I wasn't welcome. They were happy to be watched. It was all about timing - complete luck.
I have since been in a relationship with a girl who was tempted to show off. This gave me some more perspective on the feelings and fears for those being watched for the first time. It could be quite nerve-wracking. (We never got further than an open hotel room window.)
I think you just have to trust to luck and take care of yourself. Don't try to force it. Approach carefully and try to work out what's really going on. Even if a couple are interested, they might just not feel right at that particular time. You may have many many hours waiting. Just stay safe and try not to make assumptions. It is very easy to see what you want to see and not what is really there! Good luck.
Re.
Like me it sounds like you are looking for a genuine, exciting and shared erotic experience, as (I hope) are the couples who show. But out there in the wild it can feel very much like you are on your own.
I suspect I may well have loitered in the same places as you, or not far off. Patience is so important. I have always 'walked' away if I wasn't comfortable, and I am almost sure that I've missed out once or twice because of this. But I've also once been chased out of a car park and followed for miles by a couple who really were NOT wanting to be watched (even though they were obviously and quite openly having sex in a place well frequented by the dogging community). The best night ever was when I pulled in and saw a car with movement in it, oviously a couple who were just enjoying themselves regardless. I approached carefully on the basis that they must have seen my lights and would react if I wasn't welcome. They were happy to be watched. It was all about timing - complete luck.
I have since been in a relationship with a girl who was tempted to show off. This gave me some more perspective on the feelings and fears for those being watched for the first time. It could be quite nerve-wracking. (We never got further than an open hotel room window.)
I think you just have to trust to luck and take care of yourself. Don't try to force it. Approach carefully and try to work out what's really going on. Even if a couple are interested, they might just not feel right at that particular time. You may have many many hours waiting. Just stay safe and try not to make assumptions. It is very easy to see what you want to see and not what is really there! Good luck.
Re.
Nice post jomu. Almost poetic there! I saw a couple in similar circumstances recently. They moved off soon after and I didn't even get to watch much, but the sight through the window of the girl, looking gorgeous, coy and sexy in the moonlight, has stayed with me since. It was pure chance and very nice too.
Now we've got the mobile phone light instead of the interior light. Can give just the right amount of light to show who is in the car while still being quite subtle.
I never know what the etiquette is now. I keep seeing couples who show a light or phone light then drive off, other times have seen couples enjoying themselves but no light or other signal.
Anyway, it's all about the thrill of realising that what you are seeing really is an erotic act, and that the participants are enjoying being watched, so you get something off each other.
I never know what the etiquette is now. I keep seeing couples who show a light or phone light then drive off, other times have seen couples enjoying themselves but no light or other signal.
Anyway, it's all about the thrill of realising that what you are seeing really is an erotic act, and that the participants are enjoying being watched, so you get something off each other.
Quote by misschief77
I think my wish would involve the opposite - to watch a nice woman exposing herself while I could look at her eyes. All the better if she were to enjoy seeing me getting excited by her while I looked at her and then maybe let touched her. The eye contact would be really special. This as part of a MMF in a quiet place on a sunny evening. Mmmm, some wish!
It's a real turn on to see and feel reactions! Although perhaps doing it in the dark might give the best of both worlds with some moonlight....
Glad someone else thinks so. I just love the idea that the woman or couple are getting aroused by seeing how much I am!
I reckon a bit of vocal reaction would also feature in my wish list. I have enjoyed approaching a car and hearing the sound of pleasure before even being able to see the couple inside.
Quote by Serendipity
What is it about blindfolds? lack of vision is more erotic, the squirming surprise of not knowing where the next hand will be or just that it's easier to lose inhibitions if you can't see? or all of 'em?
I think my wish would involve the opposite - to watch a nice woman exposing herself while I could look at her eyes. All the better if she were to enjoy seeing me getting excited by her while I looked at her and then maybe let touched her. The eye contact would be really special. This as part of a MMF in a quiet place on a sunny evening. Mmmm, some wish!
Really interesting thread.
I'm mostly interested in watching or being watched - I'd never rule out joining in, but it is not the main motivation for me going out. I have once or twice wondered whether maybe a couple expected me to join in, when I wasn't really up for it and happier just looking.
The question about compromise is really there because some people go out with an "all or nothing" attitude, rather than just going to see what they will see (which to me, personally, is what it's all about). It's why I think Serendipity snapped up the best possible name on this forum!
I'm mostly interested in watching or being watched - I'd never rule out joining in, but it is not the main motivation for me going out. I have once or twice wondered whether maybe a couple expected me to join in, when I wasn't really up for it and happier just looking.
The question about compromise is really there because some people go out with an "all or nothing" attitude, rather than just going to see what they will see (which to me, personally, is what it's all about). It's why I think Serendipity snapped up the best possible name on this forum!
Have had quite a lot of this recently... Last weekend I sat for 30mins at a discrete distance watching a couple. I could see them quite clearly in the moonlight and they were lighting themselves up a bit with a phone or PDA screen. Eventually they started kissing... and just then some guy pulled in, gave them the full beam treatment and parked right on their tail. Perfect timing. They were out of there in seconds.
Similar story earlier on... nice looking couple pulled in... me and a few others were there, just waiting, no pressure... they moved to a quiet corner of the car park and some guy arrived and followed them around until they legged it.
Much later on I was alone in the same place when a couple pulled in. At last - everything is right! The guy had the window open so I just got out of the car and said hello... then he asked if I was alone and said they were looking for another couple. I thought "aren't we all" and got back in the car. I wonder if they had just spent the night thinking they were in luck only to keep finding single guys like myself.
So there's always something going on ut there, but it's just all in the timing!
Similar story earlier on... nice looking couple pulled in... me and a few others were there, just waiting, no pressure... they moved to a quiet corner of the car park and some guy arrived and followed them around until they legged it.
Much later on I was alone in the same place when a couple pulled in. At last - everything is right! The guy had the window open so I just got out of the car and said hello... then he asked if I was alone and said they were looking for another couple. I thought "aren't we all" and got back in the car. I wonder if they had just spent the night thinking they were in luck only to keep finding single guys like myself.
So there's always something going on ut there, but it's just all in the timing!
Quote by Lissa
I'm curious.
Do the vast majority of guys on here prefer just to watch, or to participate?
Watch or touch, at least on first meeting! But, if you are watching, you're also doing that out in the open. Would it be the same in a pre-arranged, indoor situation? Possibly not. I suspect there is a bit of cross over between the voyeur and the exhibitionist for some.
Quote by BarefootAnjel
LMFAO@ReLais....
Been there,done that....Never felt more pathetic and sad in my entire life!....
Still,they say a vivid imagination is all you need to get by.....I saw plenty of action that night,even if it was all a figment of my imagination!
I didn't feel too sad and had considered the possibility that a better option might turn up! But it can be amusing (, embarassing, worrying etc.) to find out the difference between what you think you can "see", and what you are actually looking at.
Is it anti-gay bias, specifically? Or just that some folks are hoping to find straight men, or couples (and perhaps don't get the interest they are hoping for from gay men)? I don't know - I just wondered. I'd prefer not to find groups of other men at a site, whether straight or gay. But I agree that I can hardly complain, after all I assume the other blokes I see out are just doing what I'm doing.
Sure it is! I think it's rare to go out for an evening and not see any evidence of something interesting. But equally it's rare to turn up just as a couple are getting into having fun (or whatever it is you personally hope to see). On a quiet night I've sometimes done the same kind of sums as Serendipity and asked myself how long should I wait around at each site?, what is the best strategy?, where is there the best chance?, etc.
In the end, I figure that Serendipity has got it bang on in the name - I just try to avoid places/times which I think are completely unfavourable and take my chances. Last week I ddin't see any "action" but ended up having a very nice, sociable time chatting with a couple who had been out. From experience, I know that if I keep going out then I'll get lucky sometimes and also that it will probably not be quite as I might have expected.
In the end, I figure that Serendipity has got it bang on in the name - I just try to avoid places/times which I think are completely unfavourable and take my chances. Last week I ddin't see any "action" but ended up having a very nice, sociable time chatting with a couple who had been out. From experience, I know that if I keep going out then I'll get lucky sometimes and also that it will probably not be quite as I might have expected.
It's nice to see a lady in a tight white or light-coloured top, if only because this is easier to spot through the windows on a dark night and looks great if she takes it off or lifts it up - very sexy. I personally like to see someone in simple but hopefully stylish clothes. I don't feel that a woman has to be in lacy or PVC gear to look highly erotic, though it never does any harm!
Turning the question around, do couples or women prefer somebody who turns up to watch them to be decently-dressed (well, decent at first, perhaps...), or does it not matter? I don't mean to suggest that doggers necessarily drive around in their best dining out wear, but if I have the luck to meet a couple, I always feel I'd prefer not to look like a complete scruff!
Turning the question around, do couples or women prefer somebody who turns up to watch them to be decently-dressed (well, decent at first, perhaps...), or does it not matter? I don't mean to suggest that doggers necessarily drive around in their best dining out wear, but if I have the luck to meet a couple, I always feel I'd prefer not to look like a complete scruff!
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
For us dogging is all about the build up, will there be anyone there, will we get 'caught', will the person want to watch etc.
Yes, I think a lot of the appeal is the chance of catching someone being a bit rude and the thing is that it is not a contrived experience, although everyone involved obviously has to be up for it. The anticipation is certainly a large part of it, and I think this would have a different quality going to a pre-aranged meet with all sorts of expectations. I also wonder whether it would lose some of this if it was "too easy".
Having said that, the uncertainty also makes me extremely cautious and I suspect I've missed some chances to enjoy some mutual fun with willing couples simply because of not being quite sure enough what was going on. Likewise, my exhibitionist side has maybe sometimes been held in check by being cautious, but I'd prefer to be like this than get into trouble!
Thanks. That particular experience made up for the previous time when I called in to the car park for maybe the 3rd time, only to find the couple I had been observing were waiting for me... to have a good laugh before they drove off! I guess being laughed at a bit ain't too bad really.
