chick0074's Profile

17 Jan 2005

Quote by cool4catz
3 a time for a grandslam (one in each hole)............

I've always known this as "air-tight" biggrin

Air-tightness might not always be achievable, though. I mean, judging by the size of the mouths on some of the women round here....
bolt

Need guys with thicker cocks then!
Rachel
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17 Jan 2005

2 at a time is good for spitroast and dp.
3 a time for a grandslam (one in each hole)
4 or more for rotation or gangbang.
5 or more takes some organising, make sure you have reliable guys who will turn up and can get it up.
One of my variations when we have a bi-fem, is when I where my strappy and take on the male role, then Richard and I can spitroast her.
I have also been a gangbangs wearing my strap and been "one of the guys".
Any ladies interested either.
1. a single bi-fem who wants two guys
or
2. a couple where the lady would like to be grandslammed or gangbanged and want us to come as two "guys"
see my ads below for info and contact details
Rachel
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17 Jan 2005

Well there you are, Jane-Les - you have a houseparty and we can come all round and meet you!
The first SW event of 2005.
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

Believe it or not he just sent me that last post on a PM!
Some guys have a lot to learn...
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

Quote by dambuster
When does a guy become an "older guy" ??

When he's older than the lady in question.
By which I mean significantly older. I'm 29 so a guy who was 28 or 30 would not be "older or younger" for all intents and purposes.
A guy who is 20 is younger, a guy who is 40 is older. There is a significant age gap.
When I was 15 I had a boyfriend who was 19, so that was a significant age difference.
If at 42 you are shagging someone who is 46, you might not think of them as being "older" at all.
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

Well said, Penfold, nice to see one new guy who has the right idea.
And mark my words, Doug will still be sitting home alone wanking when you are at a party or gangbang with your cock in some girl's mouth.
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

I have been with a LOT of men, and no-one has the stamina of hardness of my husband, certainly not at twice his age! Nobody is as good at an athletic pursuit after the age of thirty as they are in their twenties, and you get slower each year, that is a fact of life.
And we certainly pursue sex as an athletic hobby!
However that is the point I am making, the advantages of the experience of the older men more than make up for the physical decline that age brings. Besides it is perfectly usual for a guy in his forties who has worked to maintain his shape and fitness to be twice as fit as a guy in his 20s who just drinks beer at the weekends.
Your stomach, butt and cock may not be as hard as a 20 year athlete, and don't pretend that they are, but you have 20 years more experience of making them work. That is the advantage of "old geezers".
I would choose Brad Pitt over George Clooney for the physical reasons.
But I would choose George over one of those tossers from Blazing Squad, or even all of the at once!
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

Offer something people want, not what you want them to have.
You want sex with a couple, with the female of the couple, maybe a single female, or get the legendary FFM. What nobody wants to know is what you want.
Look in the ads under the ".... looking for men" sections. Find out what the couples, women and men are looking for, what they are asking for, and reply. Post your own ad offering what the other ads ask for.
Be open and honest. Don't claim to have a 9 inch cock if you haven't.
My ads below let people know who and what we are and that we are looking for people to join us. We get replies weekly, sometimes daily, from this straight forward approach (the pics help as well).
Have patience.
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

A young fit guy who looks good and gets your juices flowing, has a big hard cock and knows how to use it and the stamina to keep going until YOU are satisfied is a real find.
I know, when I found mine I married him!
And I share him with all my friends. (Ladies, see our ad below and apply via email or PM)
However most young guys are just boys, they have those skinny undeveloped bodies, they cum too soon, they have no idea how to satisfy a woman, they are vastly inexperienced though they always claim otherwise.
An older man is mature, he may have been fucking for ten or twenty years, will have likely been in a long term relationship or marraige and will know how to satisfy a woman. His aging body will not be a physical match for the stamina of the young stud, neither will his erections, but as I said, most young boys are not experienced studs anyway.
The older man will not have the hangups and insecurities of the younger boy.
Though there are obvious exceptions, the older man will have the experiences and the talent that the younger boys lack. Given the choice between an 18 year old boy who still lives with his mum and a 40 year old man who is, or has been, married, I'll go for the older guy every time (I'll let the young boy watch so he can learn something)
And if you are a young boy reading this and it is a disappointment, don't worry - you are getting older every year!
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

The idea is a piss-take in itself, Blue, but it doesn't mean the poster isn't being serious!
Mind you, we are talking about 3 guys who not only don't have girlfriends, but were out last night and didn't pull, and they have that sexist attitude about women being there to cook for them.
Sounds like they mean it, but doesn't sound like a particularly attractive offer.
Or a particularly attractive guy!
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

This is now 3 weeks away.
It also clashes with the Chris/Lorraine Notts house party (postponed from December due to that knee injury)
Presuming Mel and D get the invites confirmed it'll be a choice between heading north or heading east for fun that night.
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

Why do you never get a house with 3 girls posting these kind of offers?
Oh well.
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

There is life down here in the SW but it seems to be more "underground".
The only real club in Bristol is The Office, but there certainly are groups and regular parties, there are many swinging couples who want private meets, and we've met more than a few bi-fems. We even got sent invites for some great groups and met people who hold regular events.
We even popped down Devon way twice this summer to meet up with people who had invited us.
Just make your presence know, have an ad with pics, an available email addy, and post to the forums. Reply to some ads you like, and respond to people who apply to yours.
You'll soon find yourself invited and in demand.
Being good looking and sexy goes a long way as well!
Rachel
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16 Jan 2005

The new year always brings these types.
It's the ones who didn't get a shag at the XMas parties and join these sites in the new year out of desperation and with a huge chip on their shoulder.
The other week we had that silly little student boy posting to say it was "not on at all" that we place ads that say "no single guys".
Knowing all the shagging Richard and I did at Uni, this guy had to be a seriously sad case!
There is another newbie here who makes the claim "I never have any trouble pulling in clubs".
And the there are all the guys who are good looking, fit and well endowed, but still can't pull or get a shag in the outside world.
I was posting in another thread some advice about how to vet guys for a gangbang, to a lady who was organising her first, and some newbie guy posted some comment "how do you vet guys? One of these guys might mess it up for the rest of us". Hello! Since when did you become one of the "rest of us" (the single guys who get the invites). You don't get that status just by signing up and whining in the forum.
The one thing these guys all have in common is they have no idea what SWINGING is all about.
The genuine (that word again) guys who are members of a swinging community do get invited to the parties, the gangbangs, and the MMFs (how do you think we do MMFs? Where do you think we get the "spare" guy from?)
It is probably a small proportion 10-1 of women to men, yes.
It is a small proportion then, maybe also 10-1, of men who get sex here and the men who don't.
Rachel
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15 Jan 2005

Haven't we had this conversation already?
Anyway, same reply from me, yes I have been in it, a couple of years ago.
Rachel
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14 Jan 2005

Well personally I wouldn't say I'm "fussy" but if I'm going to be intimate with a man - meaning have a guy lie naked between my legs and put his penis in my pussy, and/or maybe my mouth, (and if he's lucky my ass) and empty his balls inside me - well I want to at least have some attraction to him!
Hope that's a straight enough answer.
Rachel
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13 Jan 2005

Well he seems to do one of these almost every day, they never get many views or any replies.
I guess if he had people replying and had couples or women who turn up at his office "when he needs them for an hour" then he wouldn't still be "advertising".
Always in the evening as well.
The advantage of being a cleaner I suppose - get the place to yourself after everyone has gone home!
Rachel
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13 Jan 2005

Has one of these posts of yours EVER worked, Vas?
Rachel
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13 Jan 2005

Quote by harry0
A great many things can make a human cry, it may be something very personal, it may be something that makes you very happy, it might even be music.
Wandering around the WWW the other day I came across this poem. Having read it, I would say it would have to be a hard hearted bastard who didn't have at least a lump in his throat after reading it. I don't know who the author is or was and although it may not be of Wordsworths or Brownings standard it is a puller of heartstrings.

As someone who lost my father at a very early age I can emphasise with the little girl in this poem, brave enough to explain to her classmates why she hasn't got a daddy.
Then you hear he was a fireman who died bravely for a reason, maybe saving someone else's life.
Then they ruin it by trying to tie it into that "trendy" 9/11 Two Towers business in the US
( I don't mean to sound callous and God know my heart goes out to those who lost someone in that event, but I have been fed up with the "commercialisation" of this event - a genuine tragedy. There is even a new show on Sky One soon that is based on the firemen who survived it)
And then the cheesy ending with the obvious "ghost" leaving a rose.
I don't know about you guys, and I sincerely hope none of you lost your father at an early age like I did (mine was lost to illness - no reason, no sense, no comfort), but for me, that ruined what was a touching poem that I was starting to relate to.
Rachel
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13 Jan 2005

every time... I hit them in the balls. lol

sometimes - when I use my strap-on on their ass.
Rachel
(dominatrix)
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7 Jan 2005

Trisexual martians and illiterate latinos.
That's a match made in hell if ever there was!
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

I have my clit pierced - (you can see the pic on my ad if interested) - and wouldn't be without it again.
I've been fucked by a few of "Alberts" in my time and it can make a difference, I mean you do feel it.
But as always, it's down to the person using it.
Good luck with your new "Ninja weapon".
If someone asks if you can use it we can answer "I'm sure 'e can!"
(shuriken - geddit!?)
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
If you said you wanted to get it on with trisexual Martians in a swimming pool full of chicken soup, you'd get the same response.

Thanks, Ice, I was wondering who I could get to ring him up tonight! :twisted:
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

Good advice from Ice!
Though occasionally starting a thread like this and taking the piss a bit doesn't hurt.
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

Like I said in this thread - New Year, New Losers:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/31439.html
And I bet this idiot loughbourough is sending PMs out to more than just me as well!
(how do you pronounce that anyway? low-borrow? loff borroff? laugh bore ass?
What a name to give a kid.
According to his PM he is VV WE - that's 2 Vs and a W - obvious 5 inches is only VWE where he comes from)
I dunno - losers sending their phone number.
"Can I give you a ring"
"I already have one - through my clit!"
(see photo on my ad)
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

What is the latino for "bollox" I wonder?
Good for a laugh I suppose.
So anyone else have one like this?
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

Ok, Mal, his details are winging their way to you!
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

Quote by steve-shireen
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Maybe you should dish out his phone number to a few of your friends and let them see if he isas seductive as he believes....
Or maybe not if a mod is watching
:smackbottom: :smackbottom:

I have several gay male friends who might like to give that a go - see how he likes being hassled by the "wrong" kind of person!
Although it wouldn't be appropriate to post his email and phone number, if someone asked me for it by PM I guess that would be OK? I mean he did give it out freely, and he's looking for love!
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

We all know that even though you put "no single males" in your ad you get a few trying it on. Even if that ad is in the "Couples looking for women" section - where they shouldn't even be looking (except fo curiosity) they still like to email you.
This one, however is the worst one yet -a real sad attempt at some kind of seduction:
"Hello, I have just read your profile and I thought it could be
interesting to have the opportunity to know each other. May be you are
wondering whether I am the right person for you. Well, give me one minute and
you will sorted out it. I'm 38, Latino-type, living in SW UK, tall,
medium build, with short dark hair, good-looking, educated and attractive
man. What I can offer: passion, very passionate games, fun,
unselfishness and extended periods on foreplay. If you ever dreamed of an anonymous
threesome of a whatever game with a handsome stranger, I am your
perfect fantasy. Well, if you are not completely convinced by my words, I
would hope that this short mail could enhance your curiosity and convince
you to meet for a chat drinking a good glass of red wine. Now you have
only to dial my number and hear my voice. It will be the first nice
surprise.
Fabry"
There was a pic attached and, though it's obvious he thinks he is some kind of latin loverboy, believe me, he is no Ricky Martin! More like his middle aged uncle (complete with beer belly).
Let's pick out the holes in this.
"Hello, I have just read your profile"
well you obviously didn't read it very well as it says "no single males"
"May be you are wondering whether I am the right person for you"
well unless you are a bi-fem which is what my ad was for, then no you are not, and am NOT wondering!
"Well, give me one minute and you will sorted out it."
It didn't take me a minute - it took one second!
"good-looking, educated and attractive man"
What a laugh! The pic shows you are not good looking and attractive and you obviously aren't educated as you are a dumb ass who can't read!
"you ever dreamed of an anonymous threesome of a whatever game with a handsome stranger, I am your perfect fantasy."
Dreamed? No way, I stay awake and make things happen!
Anonymous stranger? Yeh, sure, if she is a bi-fem like my FUCKING AD SAYS!
My perfect fantasy? You? far from it! That's your dream, bozo, not mine!
"Well, if you are not completely convinced by my words,"
I'm convinced you're a loser with an inflated ego who either can't read (I hope) or really thinks he is so special that the rules don't apply to him.
LOOKING FOR BI-FEMS
NO SINGLE MALES!
HELLO!!
"I would hope that this short mail could enhance your curiosity and convince
you to meet for a chat drinking a good glass of red wine"
What? Is this supposed to be some kind of latin seduction technique or something?
I'm curious about why losers like you think this kind of thing would really work, but that's about all!
"Now you have only to dial my number and hear my voice. It will be the first nice
surprise."
Of course he thinks he has a sexy seducive voice doesn't he?
I almost rang it out of curiosity just to find out and to have a real laugh down the phone at him. Maybe it would have turned out to be the orderline for the local pizza delivery?
So has anyone else heard from this latin lover boy? I haven't seen him on the forum so guess he's just doing the ads.
Or failing that, what's your worst one of these?
Got to have some fun while we're weeding out the wannabees from the people who are really going to get a fuck this weekend.
Rachel
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7 Jan 2005

My mum still has my TV appearance on tape as well!
Dead proud she was.
Rachel
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