Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Ianito
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 47
0 miles · West Midlands

Forum

I must be some sort of immortal; I've been killed so many times I lost count! Once by a drunk driver in Manhattan, by Inez and Sway, by Sir Guy (no I don't know these people either - just goes to show it's not always a friend or relative), by Israeli troops (not great news there - they'll kill anyone), by Arafat's forces (they all blame each other), by Kanwulf the viking, by Yorinaga Kurita, by a single gunshot to the head (whilst in the custody of the Mounties), by medical negligence, by a nut and by an English homicidal butcher..... the list goes on!
I know an Andy from Cardiff! Then again he's also a figment of my imagination. wink
Apparently, and this is just a rumour, but the Iguazu Falls are a lot bigger than the Niagara ones!
I, for one, am flabergasted!
Quote by lancyuk
. I'd also love to go down in a submarine !

submarine blow jobs all round.....sounds good.
Now how would I concentrate on the the marine fauna when all that sort of tomfoolery is going on? Just imagine what might happen if there was a sudden drop in cabin pressure, everything would expand and all us blokes would strut around like peacocks showing off our newfound giant appendages!
Quote by GenHertsCpl
Ive got lots of things id like to do before im 50, but some may take a bit longer than that......
Visit all 52 states of America - 3 down 49 to go rolleyes
Travelled around the world as much as feasibly possible
White Water Rafting ....(maybe should arrange a SH WWR day??)
Swim with dolphins (doing that next year lol )
Move to bigger property
Hopefully will have paid off our mortgage.....only 45K left to go :roll:
Seeing my children blossom into happy, content, open minded, educated, healthy, social bueatiful adults.
Thats just for starters! lol

Good news Herts Cpl,
You can mark two more off your 52 US states without even visiting them as there are only 50!
I'd like to parachute onto the north (or south pole) just for the thrill of not knowing when you're going to hit the ground, seeing as everything is white. I'd also love to go down in a submarine and see all the crazy creatures living on the ocean floor.
Damn, I need to get me some money!
Quote by look
massive sex, a big fucking sex session, fucking like there is no tommorow.
a huge fuck fest, the type of not being able to walk after type session.
understand.
i hope so redface

Sounds like Massive Attack to me, with a bit of Kama Coma thrown in. I wonder if everyone appears to speak with a Bristol accent too.
Does the type of not being able to walk after type mean that there are secretarial duties to perform too?
Quote by ChArAz
Seems that way biggrin but patience is a virtue or perhaps a penance confused
Mark I am sure you have been told this before but you bear a striking resemblance to Keanu Reeve's
All the Best
Stef wink

Keanu Reeve's what? Face or overcoat perhaps, or maybe even sunglasses!
I've just voted for the bottom. A true work of art! I do though have to say that eyes should be there as no matter how sexy the body, a dull pair of eyes does shed a certain light on the mind.
Quote by johneboy
Rod, Jane and Freddy..... like you need an excuse dunno

whats wrong with rod jane and freddy

Bungle-ing fool loon bolt
Several years ago I dreamt I missed the FA Cup final as I had to go and speak to Bungle because of his continued foul and abusive language. He comes across as nice as pie on TV but as soon as he creeps into your dreams it's a different matter all together!
In fairness to Rod, Jane and Freddie though, they were the original children's TV swingers! wink
Quote by SXBOY
believe hes a semi professional low life drug consumer with zero talent

Thanks for that Sxboy, I had an inkling it may be something like that but needed confirmation. Do you think in a few years time he'll be appearing on people's doorsteps asking if they need their drives doing?
Gosh, so many too choose from. Why can't it be 100 pin bowling?
Well I suppose my first would be whoever is in charge of programming on ITV; the brain of an ant and lacking in any imagination. Secondly, Jordan and Peter Andre (they are the same person now much like Anton Dec) because it depresses me that I know who they are. Finally, this pikey little chav I meet at the bus stop every morning, who insists on asking me for a fag even though he knows from past experience that there is no chance he'll be getting one.
Who is Pete Doherty? All this week I've heard he is Kate Moss' boyfriend but what does he actually do besides enjoying the produce of Colombia?
Quote by clifton224
i did not know it dose not say on the profile but he has a nice ass and before anyone says anything yes i an bi so is my gf

Isn't that a line from The Life of Brian? biggrin
Quote by Jags
He is - by popular demand - an EX member and a fully blown twat!

Shame he didn't have one of those already, he could have sorted himself out instead of boring everyone else with his tales of woe.
Quote by bluexxx
Yaght is probably what he eats whilst smililing with his frinds confused

I think I've been a little discourteous with dear old Helly before, I do believe he speaks an ancient dialect of German.
'its ment im yaght im frinds, obviosly smililing'! :?
Das ist supergut Herr Hardon!
Quote by hellyhardon
its so fun here thanks for that hope you feel better ,this is ment to be a site to get to know people ,not for pmt ,if you took the time to talk you would find im a kind and funny guy with a very full life
a yaght skipper
2.i have my own engineering company
regarded as great fun by frinds and clients
4,i treat people how they treat me (with respect which you are obviosly missing)
any way im still smililing because the rest of you are great fun

Sorry for being rather pedantic and I do sympathise with your diasbility; having to type one-handed, but what is a yaght? Is it a type of yoghurt? Does it help with PMT? If it lowers cholesterol too then maybe you could persuade Carol Vorderman to ditch that other stuff and get on board.
Still smililing (a mixture of smile and simile I presume) too, thanks for a great laugh tonight Helly, I needed it!
Congratulations Mrs GHC,
As someone who'll finish his OU degree next month it's really nice to hear other's stories of success. I hope you go forward and get that degree becuase even though it may seem like a long way off and a hell of a lot of work, you'll be ecstatic when you complete it. Once again, well done on your current success!! biggrin
A really useful alternative for a skin product, if you happen to be traipsing through the stagnant waters of the Amazon, is Avon 'Skin So Soft'. This remarkable product not only leaves your skin as smooth as a baby's bottom but also has the added benefit of repelling all manner of flying insects, including mosquitos!
They only gave me £20 for that, I was robbed!
almost identical, just a change of diminutive.
ianette
Quote by johneboy
seeing as though there seems to be a distinct lack of testosterone in here.. i thought i'd help out.
So, i'm off to see Michael Owen make his debut for Newcastle tomorrow...
does anyone else agree that it's maybe a good move for England to see Owen in a 4-4-2 with Dyer backing him up (when fit)for a repeat of some previous successful English tactics?
...or shall i just get back to talking about Robocop in the dangerous insertions thread?

shouldn't that be spelt D-I-R-E dunno
won't he be too busy handbagging with Lee 'Pretty Boy' Bowyer

Does anyone else think that Lee Bowyer should ask Souness for money from the Newcastle kitty to buy himself a sports bra?
Heres a chalenge to all the geeks see if you can break this!
1100
make sure youve got your "ascii" (pronounced as-key) table ready
Lets see who cracks it first
good luck sf

I've got my ass key ready but can't seem to fit it in the lock. Oh well there goes another night's anal action out of the window!
Although not a qualified techie, I think you go to tools, options and then down to privacy. When there, you can see all of those irksome people who you have blocked and allow them once more to contact you.
Hope this helps.
has anyone got an uncircumcised penis?? If so, then when u get a BJ from a chick does it hurt? Because the tip of my penis is very sensitive cuz I'm un-cut.

Is your foreskin too tight? Some men have tight foreskins so the tip is very sensitive. If you can't pull your foreskin all the way back I'd advise you to go to your GP and let him have a look, otherwise tell her to stop biting!
Another OU student here although thankfully for only 2 more months (I hope!). Too much to look at and none of it uni work, seems to be the particular pickle I find myself in these days.
Forget Freddie Krueger or Pinhead, it has to be the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! I've never been more scared of anything in my life and still when I watch that film years later, I get mildly anxious.
Quote by quimninja305070
skills : good with hands (lol), can ussually turn my hand to anything.
very good with art ie: painting ,drawing, sculpting,

Good morning happy campers,
Just a thought on the above post, why don't you become an artist or sculptor? As Elton John once said,
'If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you'
So many options; sculptor, potion maker or song writer! Not even any need for nakedness but plenty of job satisfaction I'm sure.
Quote by Vicky_uk
The superhero Mr. All America has decided to paint his house. Naturally, he can only choose from the colors red, white, and blue. How many possible color permutations can there be for the 4 sides of his house?
If he painted all 4 sides white, that would be one permutation; a 2nd would be all sides red; and so on

Is the answer to this little conundrum 24 different possibilities?
I think his name is Peter Porter. although you'll forgive me for not remembering as I was crawling around on the floor in stitches. Maybe he should concentrate more on making sense rather than picking pecks of pickled peppers!
Good morning,
I'm just wondering what makes people howl with laughter. I watched Newsnight last night and the head of the Anti-Terrorist Branch was on explaining why they should increase the time spent in custody without charge. One particularly glorious reason was so that muslims had time to pray, as they have to do it five times on Friday!!!
As well as doing such a sterling job with national security, I'd like to thank the Met heartily for such sublime humour in these difficult days. Pure genius!!
Hi everyone,
Newby here so not entirely sure if I'm doing this right but you have to start somewhere! On the topic of moth or butterfly, I believe that it's down to the way they fold the wings when at rest that is the determining factor, but as I know no one here yet, that isn't for me to comment. wink
Anyway, hopefully I'll get to know people soon enough and enjoy being part of this community. biggrin