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bbw_loverNkitty

Over 90 days ago

Straight Male, 66

•

Bi-curious Female, 57

0 miles · Oxfordshire

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31 Jan 2014

Mmmmmm?
I can't help thinking its the wrong argument. Somebody mentioned about not being fully focused on driving, which seems much more convincing to me. If the whole mobile while driving issue seems impossible to implement, how on earth are they going to ake on the smoking issues as well. I'm just not convinced it will change anything. And at what point do you allow ADULTS in a democracy to make their own decisions?
Also why has this single issue come about. What about clusters of young girls with their prams, puffing away to their hearts content AND dropping ash on their beloved offspring? It's just not joined up thinking but political posturing. All it does is get people all worked up about a relatively unimportant issue. Yes I know SMOKING = CANCER etc. etc., but the country is in a mess, business disappearing left right and centre. Instead of banning perhaps a change in attitude would make more sense?
It does worry me sometimes that politicians invoke children and old people when their argument is a little weak..

14 Nov 2011

Quote by Big_Fraser
Can you tell us the make and model of your MP3 player - you may have other options
Although I exclusively use MP3 to keep my collection uniform, at low bit rates (more squished) WMA gives better quality playback.

WMA? I've always found the quality to be not very good!? It seems to be ok at medium bit rates, but anything else tends to sound a little 'thin'.
*lover*

14 Nov 2011

Quote by duncanlondon
I think that with a lot of 'sites', they developed along with the development of the internet, social networking and technology. That along the way there was as many changes and developments in the purpose of the site as with its capability to utilise them.
At the outset it was like coming into a room where an intimate and friendly party was going on and just about everyone could squeeze in. But later it became too big and people had to 'talk amongst themselves' and make their own fun in the reaches of an ever expanding location.
It seems like the internet has hit a wall and its got confusing and misleading, and its knocked a lot of hope and expectation out of using it. Which makes one think that's what is happening on individual sites and also with one's memberships and ultimately one's own lifestyle.
My advice is not to put it at the centre of what you do. Its an accessory.
So I don't see any use in looking to find blame in it all. And it won't go back to what it was, now.

Not sure I agree with this. It is meant to be a swinging site, and some people pay good money on that assumption. Over the years it seems to have 'borrowed' so heavily from Facebook et al, that the swinging part of it has become incidental.
If you got in your car one day and it failed to start would you sit in the driver's seat making 'brum, brum' noises, or would just shrug your shoulders and decide you may as well just walk? I'm willing to bet you'd be quite annoyed, and be anxious to get it fixed. And as quickly as possible.
*lover*

14 Nov 2011

Well said Freckledbird. There isn't a set etiquette on this site or any other swing site. Just because someone messages you you shouldn't feel obligated to respond or feel under pressure to respond. I agree it's nice to have a polite message but I wouldn't reply if I wasn't suited. I wouldn't think it fair to start a conversation if nothing was going to happen, though in all fairness a polite "no thanks" should be in order.
*Kitty*

14 Nov 2011

Well said Freckledbird. There isn't a set etiquette on this site or any other swing site. Just because someone messages you you shouldn't feel obligated to respond or feel under pressure to respond. I agree it's nice to have a polite message but I wouldn't reply if I wasn't suited. I wouldn't think it fair to start a conversation if nothing was going to happen, though in all fairness a polite "no thanks" should be in order.
*Kitty*

14 Nov 2011

Quote by Dawnie
I have been a member for quite a few years now and only some here occasionally to keep in touch. I think it's sad that so many people are leaving but I'm not really that surprised. Since the changes that have happened, in the last 5 years or so, something fundamental has also gone. If I knew what it was I'd happily highlight it and hope it would change back. But I too find I have had many meets off other sites but any meets from here have totally dried up.

IMHO whats missing is a sex. We rarely have threads on sex and the chatrooms is based on displaying sex and not getting meets for sex

Quote by bbw_loverNkitty
I can't help feeling that the current design, and the way the site appears to be going, gives the impression of a social networking site. And it didn't help the fact that the site changed from one thing to the next, almost at random. Even the Forums haven't recovered from this. There's nothing wrong with changes, and people aren't afraid of them. What people are afraid of is changing the site into something else. And sadly this is what has happened. Instead if taking the strengths and building on it, changes were implemented without any apparent due care and consideration.

Completely agree with you, however............

Quote by bbw_loverNkitty
There were many of us who had predicted this would happen and, judging from the comments, it looks like it has. I hope something can be done before it's too late. This used to be the best swinging site on the net but that is no longer the case and hasn't been for years now.

I do know that 'admin' are looking to turn this place back into a more sex related site, although I'm not too sure they know how yet confused

confused

Feel free to make suggestions :thumbup:
Well at least they're willing to admit it now. The stumbling block had been their refusal to admit their was a problem, so that's progress of sorts. How do we change it back? It won't be easy and will require a complete rethink of the current design of the site. Swinging is for adults but the site, with it's 'My Little Pony' colours and layout doesn't look very adult. I need to give it more serious thought before I can come up ith any constructive comments, but there may be a way to turn it around?

13 Nov 2011

Really sorry we couldn't make it this year, we normally wouldn't miss it for the world. However we've had a difficult year and couldn't get ourselves organized in time. Plus we've also had health issues to deal with. Hope those that did turn up made it just as much fun as it always has been.
Love to all
xxxxx

8 Nov 2011

I have been a member for quite a few years now and only some here occasionally to keep in touch. I think it's sad that so many people are leaving but I'm not really that surprised. Since the changes that have happened, in the last 5 years or so, something fundamental has also gone. If I knew what it was I'd happily highlight it and hope it would change back. But I too find I have had many meets off other sites but any meets from here have totally dried up.
I can't help feeling that the current design, and the way the site appears to be going, gives the impression of a social networking site. And it didn't help the fact that the site changed from one thing to the next, almost at random. Even the Forums haven't recovered from this. There's nothing wrong with changes, and people aren't afraid of them. What people are afraid of is changing the site into something else. And sadly this is what has happened. Instead if taking the strengths and building on it, changes were implemented without any apparent due care and consideration.
There were many of us who had predicted this would happen and, judging from the comments, it looks like it has. I hope something can be done before it's too late. This used to be the best swinging site on the net but that is no longer the case and hasn't been for years now.
*lover*

21 Nov 2010

I am so glad we managed to get there! Saw many old friends and said hello to some we hadn't seen before. Lovely atmosphere!
Thank you so much Mandy and Jen, you made our first night out in months really special! love you loads xxxxx kiss

kiss

*kitty*

20 Nov 2010

Quote by HarryJones
Oh dear how disorganised am I?? I have no dance list and not even packed my paddling pool yet
Regards
Harry Jones

Put me down Harry!!!! :wink:

20 Nov 2010

Didn't think that we were going to be able to make it, but thanks to a lovely lady (you know who you are) we are coming!
See you all there xx
*Kitty*

13 Apr 2010

Quote by BIoke
A question for the site's designers - are you actually swingers or do you do this just for a job?

I saw a big posh red car in a Dogging car park at 2am once - hard to miss ;) Swinging...hmm, dunno smile

smile

But good point I guess. I don't actually use the site to meet anyone so it doesn't bother me - it looks pretty and that's fine in my fairy dust covered world lol

lol

And therein lies the problem. If you use it as a swinging site you'll be sorely disappointed, but if you use it, as others have hinted, like Facebook et al then everything's fine.
Perhaps the site has REALLY changed and nobody has told the swingers who use it?
*lover*

13 Apr 2010

Quote by noladreams
I think there are other additions on the way - that may account for the space.

Mmmm? Perhaps it's a sign that it hadn't been finished or completely rationalized yet. It which case why do it in this ridiculous piecemeal fashion? It's a nonsense to expect people to have to "choose a theme" in order to make it look like it works when it's clear that doesn't. It's all very well introducing new themes and pretty colours, but there is a fundamental problem with the site which is that it lacks functionality. Site design by trial and error is insulting to the membership and irritating to the faithful users.
I know that it always seems like I'm whinging about the site, but each time I come on it looks worse and worse, and all I see are people complaining about predictable issues, some of which I and others have already raised. For the site to work there needs to be a concept, there doesn't appear to be one.
To dismiss peoples' comments as simply an example of not liking change is disrespectful (not directed at you by the way Nola). People do not like change without reason, change without gain or benefit. Any changes should improve the site experience, instead it's destroying what once was acceptable into something that is frankly a mess. Sorry I don't mean to be rude but somebody has to say something before it gets any worse.
I'm experienced in graphic design, interface design, and web design. This legoland excuse for a website is really starting to irritate. The inconsistencies, the boxiness, the crude childish colours, lack of proper navigation, lack of logical layout and ergonomic consideration is ruining what is fundamentally good underneath, but the lack of structure and the constant "arbitrary" changes has totally destroyed the experience.
This isn't meant to be as negative as it may sound, but it's frustrating seeing this happen to a once great site. It is possible to fix but requires those, who are able, to listen. There are many threads already about the number of people who no longer come to the site, I come much less than I did, and if this trend is ignored it is possible that there will be far less.
*lover*

19 Jan 2010

Fool To Cry - just got a great vibe to it. Sublime man cool

cool

*lover*

19 Jan 2010

Quote by Bluefish2009
I was always taught, many moons ago, not to write in caps as it was rude, not sure why, just took there word for it.
Also told not to write a note in red pen as this is also rude... aparently

Writing in red is interesting, but traditionally it always indicated an error, on the part of the recipient, towards something they've done. So writing in red always seemed like you were being reprimanded in some way.
dunno

dunno

*lover*

19 Jan 2010

Quote by Jewlnmart
I've always thought people get a tad dramatic about the use of uppercase font, but on the flip-side, a post made in all uppercase is difficult to read.

This is the main reason for not writing in caps, but it's also because it forces you to pay more attention to the characters, which are more difficult to read. And this is like someone shouting at you, forcing you to listen to them.
biggrin

biggrin

*lover*

8 Jan 2010

I was wondering the same thing. I came in specifically to see how the thread was developing, but it looks like it's been vaporised.
dunno

dunno

*lover*

7 Jan 2010

Quote by noladreams
I think that on some other sites, if you accept someone as a friend it means they get to see your photos. Sometimes I think that may be why members on here (particularly new members) send out friend requests to folk whose profiles or adverts they may have been checking out.

Thanks Nola you've just explained part of the confusion between " Friends" and "Favourites". Currently the both seem to be the same thing, except with one you send an invite, but not clear why. Perhaps we should adopt this idea which is used on most other sites?

Quote by Cubes
It's the same thing for groups: People go to other sites to set up groups related to their swinging activities, so SH is trying to save them the hassle of having multiple accounts with different providers by letting them run their own groups here.
At the end of the day it's like a lot of the ancillary functionality available on SH: If you like it, use it! If you don't, don't.

A well made point Cubes however most members are not clear this is the case. And this highlights one of the many problems particularly with the new site. However there are many good new ideas on the site but, as seems to happen more frequently these days, many are poorly implemented, inconsistent or both.
As a case in point the groups section is a good idea, not only for the reasons you've given but as an idea in it's own right. However currently it is a barren wilderness with very little activity. Why? Well most people, including myself, forget it's there, forget which groups one belongs to, and don't know what's happening in any of them, short of going through each one on a regular basis.
So here's a simple idea. Why not take the same idea used in the "Mail" section of the "My Account" panel? Why not have a "red" square with a number indicating the number of posts from ALL of your groups. Then when your select "Groups" your list of groups, on the following page, will have the same "red" square with a relevant number, indicating the number of posts for that particular group next to it.
This will provide much more relevant information and also remind people of activity within the group, and perhaps also indicate which groups are active or not.
*lover*

22 Dec 2009

Not until Adobe pull their fingers out and produce a reliable version of Flash for the iPhone. In fact a reliable version of Flash would be a start.
bolt

bolt

*lover*

17 Dec 2009

Hi! Have you thought about getting a Mac? I have a pc, but much prefer using bbw_lovers Mac.. super fast and can have a myriad of things all open at the same time...
*kitty*

15 Dec 2009

Quote by Studafunk
Hi folks, just wondering if there is any sort or application/mobile version of the website for the iphone?
Stuart

Quote by __random_orbit__
Surly the phone, being so blasted good as we're so well informed, should simply "do the internet"?

Quote by Mal
However, if you imagine getting everything on this page down to the size of an I-phone screen, then you can imagine the problems you would have trying to see everything and navigate around the page.
Mal

The iPhone AND the iPod Touch "do the internet" straight out of the box. Simply use Safari, Apple's own browser, and this site launches perfectly. As far as reading the text on the site, you can use landscape mode and enlarge the image on the screen using your fingers, via the "Gestures" technology.
There might be an issue with the chatroom but in all other respects you get the full internet NOT a cut down version.
*lover*

7 Dec 2009

Quote by bouncy332
right is it just me or do the forums seem to move so much more slowly that they used to before they split the cafe up?? :fuckinghell:
is it that just not as many use them anymore or is it because they are all seperated??

Quote by mrs-bmw
I used to enjoy the chatrooms too but even they have changed somehow.

Bouncy you're totally right. The forum is too fragmented and the categories seem too random. Also can't help feeling that it would be better in alphabetical order. At the moment it appears to have a hierarchy but it makes no sense.
The quotes above sum it up for me though. The new site is much more colourful or "prettier" as most people describe it, but what this has to do with design is still beyond my understanding. The thing that irks me is that most of the problems, in both the forum and the chatroom, have not been addressed.
Sadly, although there are a few new and interesting ideas, the site is fundamentally the same as it was before, but with the addition of more colour. Sorry.
*lover*

27 Nov 2009

You might want to download a piece of software called "macam". It has all the necessary drivers to make your external cam work. You'll need this before the hardware can be recognized.
*lover*

19 Nov 2009

I haven't got one... but I hear they're good!!

19 Nov 2009

I seem to remember going in to Anne Summers earlier on in the year, and one of the assistants recommending it when he saw my ipod... He said you can plug it in and you get the vibrations in time to the music! :shock:
I was buying a vibrator at the time... will try and find out a bit more for you!
*kitty*

19 Nov 2009

Have had lots of things happen over the years, and had a visitation this morning, I tend to get "visits" on anniversaries. It's my mums birthday today, and already had a couple of things happen, and expect more as the day goes on! :shock:
*kitty*

18 Nov 2009

Quote by oneniteonly
Thanks Mandy and Jen...had a great time as ever. I even won a raffle prize tho someone flogged it ffs!!!!
Hopefully see you all again soon xxxx

Oi you! I had my eye on that bottle of JD. You have no idea how many swear words came out of my mouth when you won it. biggrin

biggrin

*lover*

17 Nov 2009

Sorry its taken me a few days.... still recovering! Mandy and Jen, thank you for a lovely night... sorry we had to leave early, but as always, was great seeing you again xxx Thank you for all your hard work!
Next time can I do a duet with you Mandy??? cool

cool

*kitty*

10 Nov 2009

I'm probably going to get slated for this, but here goes! The Chain, by Fleetwood Mac.... inspired to use it for Formula One!
Originally I thought this thread was about the best guitar, and was going to say Les Paul... what do you guys think?
*kitty*

4 Nov 2009

Quote by Chris-1977
I'm in the army (apparently were bad for racism) and my experience isn't a bad one. Yes we have racist jokes, but we also joke about each others mothers. For example, my mum died when I was 14. Someone said they had fucked my mum. I replied, that would be hard as she died when I was 14. His reply was, in fact I won't put it because It would probably upset people. The point I'm trying to make is I knew he didn't mean anything by it. It was just humour, all be it a fucked up one (I did laugh at his discomfort). Everyone knows when something is meant malicously. Surely we can accept contraversial jokes without worying about the human rights brigade.
Before I get bombarded with shit-o-grams I don't condone antagonistic views or comments as long as everyone shares the nature as to which it was intended. "It", being humerous and not insulting.
No doubt people will comment on what I find humerous others would find insulting. To that I say we live in a multi cultural society and crude jokes are part of our every day life.

You make some good points, but unfortunately some do make jokes to insult, and not to have a laugh. I get black jokes sent to me from various people, and most of the time forward them on to my other half, but some are a bit close to the knuckle, and get deleted. I am all for humour, but respect the other persons culture. When I am with a group of black people, sometimes they make jokes about me, but like you, I try to take it as it is meant. Not always easy though!
Thanks for responding mate, again, good points.
*kitty*