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awol
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 59
0 miles · Greater London

Forum

Quote by vampanya
Moral of the story?
Dont talk with your mouth full! (or almost full as it were)rotflmao

Ahh I love that! lol
(This is what I need a clever wit, where can I buy that? I was racking my brains to come up with a funny 'moral' and I came up with shit sad damn!)
I love subtitles. As a foreigner I have problems understanding some English regional accents and American accents too. It's a shame I learnt "Queen's English" version which I suppose is great for watching the news! I remember when I went to Glasgow once - Jesus that accent was hard to understand. Having said that I think mild Scottish accent is the nicest of all regional accents in the UK.
I bumped into a old friend of mine who apparently just split up with her long term partner some time ago. I always secretly fancied her and my brain was going into overdrive. :twisted:
So we ended up having a drink to chat and catch up with things and all that - the problems is that 90% of the conversation was about her ex. OK I thought - she's in a difficult place. I'll be a pal and listen to her so off with those evil thoughts.
So we keep on chatting nice and comfy in a sofa then suddenly she's got her tongue rammed down my throat! I was taken aback as I really wasn't expecting that after switching on my good boy mode.
I suddenly had a conflicting mixture of feelings like weyhey! and oh noo this is rebound snog that might lead to rebound sex - not good!
Anyway to cut a long story short... found a room, shagged each others brains etc. but during our second go at it and midway to her giving yours truly a delicious (god she was good!) blowjob she takes my pride and joy out of her mouth and tells me "what a lovely cock you have, my ex had such a huge cock I couldn't even fit it in my mouth" wooah wooah girl too much information! In my mind I was going "you should have left it at 'lovely cock' girl"!
I know (at least I think I know) she was trying to flatter me but that came out so wrong!
But then decided to concentrate on the fantastic BJ - but talk about choosing your moment to put a man down!
Moral of the story? Don't have sex with vanilla girls, especially not when they are on the rebound. Oh… and convince yourself that size does not matter!
smile
I read this article in the Guardian Saturday magazine about this woman befriending a serial killer...

Apparently this is not an isolated case. I read somewhere that serial killers in death row in America get bags of 'fan mail' and the majority are from women.
I wondered why is it that some people and in particular some women find serial killers fascinating? I can just about (but not entirely) understand the writer of The Guardian article befriending the serial killer as they shared a similar upbringing and she was doing some research but what drives other people to try befriend or in extreme cases 'fall in love' with killers?
In this case of the Guardian article the serial killer Kenneth Bianchi and his cousin and killed 12 women and she finds herself "drawn to him in a maternal, protective way".
I'm puzzled!
:confused:
Quote by Staggerlee_BB
This thread is ridiculous I haven't looked at it and I'm certainly not going to post in it

I agree entirely - can't be bothered to post here either so I'll clear off quickly before anyone notices me...
Quote by Kaznkev
Love the idea - you lead I'll follow lol

*takes awol by the hand and suggests we remove all clothing,as its simply another symbol of materialism*
er my clothes were already off the moment you mentioned "free love" (hey let's get indoors quick as it's getting quite chilly out here! smile
Quote by Kaznkev
Awol, i posted my answer for exactly the same reason,stuff is just stuff to me,
Shall we go start a free love commune somewhere? :giggle:
<<<<<<<<<<<<wanders off barefoot into a field of flower.

Love the idea - you lead I'll follow lol
Quote by Geordiecpl2001
The "singer" from the go-compare advert.
J & S

Ahh do you find him irritating too? I want to shoot the bastard! :mad:
There's something wrong with me sad
I've been trying hard to think of something material that I love but can't think of any... I need help!
Something like 'Everybody hates Chris' with 'How I met your mother' to make 'Everybody hates your mother'?
Or 'Mad Men' with 'House' to make 'Mad House' or even 'Mad Men' with 'Desperate Housewives' to make 'Mad Housewives' or 'Desperate Men'? (some of those would fit some people on SH lol)
I don't know about you but I always found "touching base" daft even a bit indecent :twisted:
...oh and "at the end of the day" what the hell does that mean?
rolleyes
I hate coming late into threads because by the time I read a few posts I end up not very sure of what I think!
I didn't think I have any 'passion killers' until I read some f the posts and ended up agreeing with them.
Anyway, one particular passion killer for me would be er... finding bits of tissue in ladies fannies when you get down on them! Oh yes and hairy nipples! lol
I love British self-deprecating humour. I think it's part of your culture as much as your cups of tea and roast beef (how's that for stereotyping!)
As long as you don't overdo it - because it can then sound like false modesty which is just awful - then it's great!
wink
The Swine flu pandemic... was it rubbish or not? I'm still undecided but let's not forget that people with severe respiratory problems were indeed at risk of the flu and some died.
I think panic was created not by the Government but by the media/tabloids scaremongering (which of course helps them to sell more papers). The Government are culpable for not being tough enough to say if you get it, well, you just have to tough it out like the previous generation did.
If the Government hadn't reacted the way they did the tabloids would be crying out for blood. So the government bows to public pressure (created by the tabloids) and then gets lambasted for "panicking" people for nothing. So the buggers can't win either way.
People complain about the death of common sense etc. etc. if they were to apply a bit of real common sense themselves they would see through all that BS that the media blurts out.
Quote by easy
It's a big machine and we're all very small cogs and until a large number of the cogs wake up from their hum-drum and cosseted lives and start to revolt then it will always stay the same.
Marx said that religion was the opiate of the masses, which was partly right. Religion provided direction and entertainment at that time, but time moves on and religion has been replaced with 'lifestyle' and 'media'. So while we're happily lapping up whatever 'lifestyle' and 'media' we choose we're actually being good little drones and not rocking the boat or asking awkward questions. ;)

That's exactly what I was going to say - word by word! :thumbup:
Oh and I would add the stupid "celebrity obsession" to the 'lifestyle' and 'media' you listed above.
OMG!!! I just heard from some shady sources that a number of countries around the world have started to amass an army to invade England after hearing that the Lib/Dems are gaining popularity and are trying to get rid of our nuclear weapons!
In South America that nutter Chavez from Venezuela already bought millions of dollars worth of weapons from Russia. The Argies are thinking of joining him in revenge for the Belgrano and the Falklands (they are calling it the revenge of the hand of god!). In Africa, Swaziland, Benin and Burkina Faso have joined forces with Zimbabwe egged on by that weirdo Mugabe to invade us.
In the Middle East, Iraq says they really are now going to get their WDM from hiding and get them ready in 44 (not 45!) but 44 minutes to shoot us all the way from there!
The greasy South Americans said they are tired of sunshine and hot weather and can't wait to come to cooler more rainy and cloudy areas like the UK. They have vowed to ban Morris dancing and force us all to dance Salsa instead!
I think we should all rally and sign a petition to buy more nuclear weapons! We can blast them on their way here – although that might be a problem if they are coming via continental Europe. If we blast them in France, the French might retaliate and nuke us too. So it's probably best to wait until they get to Dover then we nuke them there! We might lose the whole of Kent but I guess that's a small price to pay to stop the invasion! If the South Americans arrive by boat we can nuke them when they get to Plymouth!
Someone should tell the Daily Mail quick! We are in great danger! We need more nuclear weapons!
Quote by Gurlonloan
and the times that i have actually biten my tongue closed my eyes and wrote a message 30% of the time ive been rejected....

You get rejected 30% of the time? Wow I wish I had that record! I'd be over the moon!
Of course women who get rejected feel as much pain/disappointment/argh/yuck as any man would feel. But, like someone said - men take rejection far better than women do simply because we're used to it. Yes, I know about the guys who throw a hissy fit but they are very few in relation to the majority of guys who take rejection as part and parcel of being a man approaching women.
As far as I know most women don't do the chasing and therefore are not used to rejection but when they do get rejected - jeeesus you'd better stay well away - and I'm saying this from personal experience smile
My only gripe is - I wish people would be polite enough to reply 'thanks but no thanks' when I approach people from their ads. Being polite really doesn't hurt anyone. But hey such is life.
But 30% rejection??? Gosh I can only dream! lol
Ahhh the sweetness of solitude.
I like to remember that I’m basically alone in the world and that I’m gonna die soon ... always cheers me up. smile
To me it's very important, sometimes, to be alone. It's like guarding guilty secrets. If someone knew all my secrets how could I enjoy feelings of splendid isolation?
Once I read this: "If you don't like being in your own company, what makes you think others will?"
Alone is not lonely.
wink
Quote by noladreams
So, the Strange Case of the Vibrator which Buzzed in the Nighttime.
Any ideas?

It was a little mouse scuttling about in your drawer wondering what those toys were for. Maybe it wanted to play with the rabbit! lol
Before I go on to what possessed me to start this thread please bear in mind that I DON'T get out much and I am perfectly happy not having a life!
However!!! I want to get out tonight - yes I know too short notice etc. etc. but what the hell.
If anyone knows of a kinky, sexy, party, meet or munch tonight in London (is a munch in the evening still a munch?) please let me know (I'm not fussy am I?)
So until then I will sit here waiting for your respone - please hurry up I need a wee!!
blink
PS. Alternatively if any ladies want to go salsa dancing (or have a lesson) tonight... now's yer chance!
Quote by bouncy332
so this year having finally matured enough to realise just how important it is to make my vote count i have decided to put aside all pre concieved ideas about any of the parties and listen to everything they have to say at these debates and make my version of an informed decision and so far i am reluctant to admit maybe hubby was right and i really am naturally a liberal as apart from the trident thing nick clegg won the most points for me

Bouncy, I agree with that entirely and with Kaz's point about how that would make British politics vibrant!
Which leads me to another point. Voting or why vote? I hear so many people say they "can't be bothered" , "it doesn't make any difference", "Lib/Lab/Con they're all the same". Well no, things are never going to change if they can't be bothered to vote. Grrr I want to slap them!
Everyone cares passionately about... you know so many issues; others just whine non stop about the economy, corrupt MPs, asylum seekers, illegal aliens (terrestrial and extra-terrestrial), NHS, etc. but some of those complaining are not prepared to exert themselves a little and try to chose the least reprehensible of the lot.
Voter apathy can have serious consequences. Look what happened in France a few years ago - voter apathy contributed to Le Pen’s success. Then the French panicked!
As I keep telling people, it doesn't matter how terrible the choices are. It's no excuse not to vote.
Rant over smile
It's taken me a little while to post on this thread as one of my heroes is both revered and hated across the world in equal measure, so there will probably be a similar split on here.
So, my hero is none other than Ernesto "Che" Guevara, revolutionary, guerrilla leader, doctor, author, intellectual, diplomat and to me probably one of the most important and controversial figures of the 20th century.
El Che, was a highly inspirational and controversial figure. He is seen by his followers as a charismatic, decent human being. A brave man who led people not only by using lofty ideals but, by resorting to lead people by example. However, aside from all this El Che was also, just like all of us, a flawed human being. He was stubborn, arrogant and to a certain extend a bit self deluded. Not in his capacity to lead and inspire people but in his passionate and unwavering belief that Socialism would unite all the disadvantaged people's of the world and on his mission to eradicate social injustice.
It was his arrogance and stubbornness that, in my opinion, during his last campaign in Bolivia caused him to antagonise the Bolivian Communist Party (whose support he needed to start another revolution) that left him and his troupe isolated which ultimately resulted in his demise.
As a boy growing up in Latin America I saw El Che as a Hero who stood up against American imperialism and left a lasting legacy to this day.
Quote by BIoke
Sharing - 50:50 or thirds seems fair although it's not so much the amount, more the principal for me.
I've seen things posted here in the past like 'single males should be glad they are getting some and should pay! For me, that takes away the mutually of what all of this is about, surely? If anyone asked me to pay then that would probably be an indication to me that they weren't right for me - or that they were a professional hooker ;) I might offer to pay, but that's different smile

I agree with BIoke, I even heard of couples not only asking for the hotel room price but also 'a small contribution' towards other costs - hmmmm makes you wonder what other costs confused??:
Sharing 50:50 or equally amongst all present if there's more than a single male invited is best way to go really :)
rimming? hell yeah it's yum! Getting rimmed? weyheyy more yum yum!! lol
Quote by Imapleasantguy
I've been dealing with disappointment all my life.
Plim :sad:

I once enrolled on a course on "How to deal with disappointment".
When I turned up the course had been cancelled!
:sad:PMSL....hope you handled it well AWOL
lol
No, I was gutted - I was contemplating going upstairs to jump out of the bedroom window... then I thought maybe not... it would make the most awful dent in my car.
:sad:
Quote by gagmaster
where can i find 18 inch church candles

in a Church?
is more than just forced penetration isn't it? It's an act of violence against women (or men). This entraption is more likely to enrage the so much that it could lead to an even more violent attack on the woman as retaliation or as someone said earlier ending up with a dead victim.
Sounds like a crazy and dangerous idea. As for the ' -culture - I was about to suggest some sort of education for the population as to why women are not really "asking for it" but I wonder if any kind of education like that would work.
I think in this country we are educated enough in that respect but rapes still happen don't they?
No easy solutions I'm afraid.